Beyond the Cornfields

January 23rd

2012-01-23T20:14:00.002+06:00

Tonight, as we rocked by the dim blue light of Avocet's night light, I cried. Tears rolled down my face while she slept, stirring only occasionally when my silent sobs jarred her momentarily awake. Luckily she was very tired, and I was able to still my chest, so quietly off to bed she went.

Today was my sister Debbie's birth date, 38 years ago. When you are a rememberer of dates, the birth dates, death dates and anniversaries start to add up. And though you think of them every day in little ways, usually with smiles, on those handful of sad dates you really think of them. Over three months ago, I drafted the below blog post. It has sat there in my drafts, more of a therapy for myself than to necessarily be sent. Today, I decided to share it. It's always hard to decide if your decisions will impact other peoples' lives, for good or for bad. I sincerely hope my decision only impacts positively.

And so the draft went:
My sister Debbie has been gone for over 7 years. I don't type today because of any significant date that is making me remember her, because I remember her every day. I miss her every day.

She had a sparkle in her eyes, a kind heart and a quiet spirit. Two years older than I, we were close in age and close in friendship. My sisters and I never needed a lot of friends, because we had each other. But anyone who called her a friend, could tell you there was hardly a better friend out there to find.

When our mom passed away unexpectedly, Debbie had a hard time... we all did. She was quickly consumed by her racing thoughts. Her once vibrant, sharp, brilliant mind was now clouded with thoughts that wouldn't grant her rest. She was diagnosed with bi-polar disorder, brought on by a traumatic event. It was difficult for her to not be in control of her mind, but she handled it with grace, like she did everything. She continued to keep up at her work, as a civil engineer. Her career came after years of college on a presidential scholarship. She was so intelligent and motivated, so diligent to work for what she wanted. But in keeping up with her work life, she generally left there completely exhausted.

Medications never seemed to get calibrated just right, even after constant tweaking and changing. Therapy was regular, but not productive. Months would go by well, followed by weeks of not so well. We were all concerned and loving and supportive, but we couldn't "fix" things. We could only be there, let her know how very much she was loved and try our best to help her work through things. For over a year, she struggled to overcome.

I think the combination of emotional loss and a complicated relationship finally wore at her. Though she loved us, she would not let herself become someone else's responsibility. She could no longer endure the struggle to overcome the control of her thoughts. She was tired.

She would not be at the mercy of her mind. She would be gone too soon. She would be missed so much. She would have been a great aunt to our girls. She would have flown to Dhaka and shacked up in our spare room. She would have journeyed through the smelly market stalls and looked back at me over her shoulder with a smile. She would have been wide eyed beside me to see every pet store window and plant nursery on the side of the road. She would have asked what fish were in Gulshan Lake as we drove through town. She would have been happy with a bologna sandwich, a girlie movie and a niece bouncing on her knee for a hot Friday night. She would have watched the Little Mermaid with the girls and sang all the songs out loud... and danced.

She would never have been a burden.

There is hardly a person I've met these days who hasn't had a friend or family member with mental illness. And though it used to be such a hushed topic, it luckily isn't anymore. No, you don't meet a new friend for coffee and discuss all your baggage, but you know you aren't the only one out there either. You know you or loved ones aren't alone. If you have a bad day or a sad day, it doesn't mean you have a problem, it means you're human. But there are times when people can't control all aspects of their lives and need to reach out for help. And there are also times when people reach back, but it still can't help. There are happy endings and sad endings and stories in between. It is the stories and the sharing that can help lead to the healing and overcoming, to the crying and the smiling, and to the living. Do all these things in any order they come, but with the last to a ripe old age.

I love you Bangladesh!

2012-01-22T19:44:00.002+06:00

It is often that I hope to see a familiar face show up on our doorstep from our group of family and friends "back home". Not just because we miss them do we want to see them, but to share a little bit of the amazing experience of seeing Bangladesh. I would love to be their tour guide, to show them the place and people we've learned to know over these past 15 months.

Me too!

But would they see it as beautiful and wonderful, as I now do, or would they rather just "stay in, watch a movie and have a pizza" because the reality of the stunning difference between Dhaka and their familiar USA? I would hope the former, but it can be a lot to digest. Honestly, it was not complete love at first sight for me either...well, it was, but the love was brief. The earth shaking way I felt newly pregnant upon arriving to Dhaka quickly sent me in a tailspin. Within 2 weeks of arriving, I felt like death, and did not peak my head from the apartment, much less the covers, for what seemed weeks.

Upon returning from baby leave in August, life here seems all that much more wonderful. Maybe it's a happy 4 year old, an unbelievably adorable (I'm a bit partial) baby or a husband I'm still insanely in love with (sorry, are you gagging yet, sorry) which make me happy. I'm sure I'd just be happy anywhere as long we are all together. Maybe it's the warm climate and tropical flora. Maybe it's the staff that work in our home, love us and have become a true part of our lives and family. Truly I believe I'm completely smitten with Bangladesh. It is raw and unfiltered, but the exoticness, beauty, amazingly friendly people and slowness of life here have me captivated.

Lately, I've been a "go to girl" at the embassy for new people's questions: where to (frame art, buy xyz, do henna, etc) information, best bakery advice, how to hire staff, etc. It feels nice, and I thoroughly enjoy the interaction. Maybe it's because people can tell that we genuinely enjoy life here, be it because of where we are or who we are. And maybe it's just because we aren't the newbies anymore, but are becoming one of the "older families". I hope it keeps happening, and I hope that the people we talk to fall as in love with life here as we have. I hope more people will see the Bangladesh in front of their eyes, which is exhilarating and vibrant, colorful and beautiful, hospitable and hard working. I hope many love it here and portray to Bangladesh what wonderful people Americans are.

This is what we expats that live here signed up for. We can walk away at anytime, but most choose whole heartedly not to. And when we do leave, which I am starting to dread, none shall walk away the same as when we arrived. This place and its people have carved too deep a mark on me, and I'll miss it dearly.

I love you Bangladesh!

Sylhet Tea Weekend

2012-01-20T07:41:00.000+06:00

Last week, my good friend called with a proposition... a ladies' weekend to Sylhet, Bangladesh. The idea of a weekend away is always welcomed in my mind, but the reality of leaving the girls was difficult. I discussed it with Chris, who insisted I go and enjoy a few days of a camera in hand with no distractions of children and responsibilities. Love him.

We journeyed by mini-bus from the Canadian High Commission (yes, it was 7 Canadians and moi) to the airport in Dhaka, by turbo prop airplane from Dhaka to Sylhet and by 2 private vans from the Sylhet airport to the Nazimghar Resort. All the while, my ears were tuned to the ladies, but my eyes were enjoying the view.

Upon arrival to the resort, we dropped off our luggage, enjoyed a quick lunch and headed out to the tea plantation and a quick hike. December through March are a quiet time in the tea gardens. Aside from pruning, there isn't a lot happening with the tea other than growing. It's still pretty :)

We hiked into the "rainforest"... guide less. Our drivers pointed us in the direction of a map, while they guarded the vans... in the middle of the jungle. We veered from the path, which wasn't marked too well, but recovered and made our way back. It was dimming as we drove our way out, and though we couldn't take any photos, we got a got glimpse of sunset and the busy village life as workers returned home. We ended the evening with a tasty Indian dinner and a lovely invitation from the resort owner, who was a charming Bangla man raised in Sylhet, but now living a beautiful life between there and Dhaka. He told us stories and history over drinks on his screened veranda. We were wooed and engulfed in conversation.

Day 2 would be the highlight of our visit. Breakfast was followed by a drive to the river, where we boarded the resorts small boat which led us for more than an hour up and down the Sharee River to the border of India. The water was an unbelievable turquoise. Though I'd seen pictures online and in my guidebooks, I wouldn't have believed it existed in Bangladesh, had I not seen it with my own eyes. In several shallow spots, you could see to the bottom.

Life was vibrant along the river, people boating, washing and busying about on their days. Upon asking the night before about tea production, our charming host had arranged an impromptu visit to a stunning estate along the river. There was a small crew processing the previous season's crop, while several people trimmed the fields and a colorful group of ladies transported water to the processing area. We received a brief overview of the process from field to teacup. As we left the estate, the owner's elephant and mahout wished us adieu.

We returned to the river and meandered down to the Lalakhal Resort, another property of the Nazimghar. Lalkhal is at a beautiful spot where the Jaintia Hills of Meghalaya, India enter Bangladesh. This is a new establishment, with a restaurant, watersports, a lookout and soon to be tent resort accommodations. Here, we enjoyed a lunch of fish, daal, vegetables, rice and a brief visit from our resort host, who checked in to be sure we were enjoying ourselves. Indeed!

Vans transported us from the Lalakhal Resort to the town of Jaflong, where our destination was the Khasi Punji Village across the river. We walked from the vans atop the hill, down to the waterfront, where we boarded small boats to cross the river. Crowds gathered around us, taking photos and asking us about ourselves. This area doesn't see a lot of foreigners, and our group of Caucasian women was an oddity. As we arrived on the far side of the river, you could see the char (land exposed in the low season along the river) villages, which would be gone once the next monsoons arrived. It's amazing to see how many nomadic people still live in these temporary char villages.

While out and about, the hotel had arranged for masseurs to meet us upon our return for foot/leg messages. As their regular spa employees were gone, they hired ladies from a local villages, bracing us with the fact that they had no idea of the quality of services. Basically, we had a lovely 30 minute foot scrub, as really no massaging went on. And with our lack of Bangla language to discuss this with them, we just nodded and smiled. Chock one up to an experience for conversation. I had brought 2 tubes of henna/mehendi paste, so I asked if anyone could mehendi our arms. So we salvaged our time with the ladies by getting some beautiful artwork done.

Day 3 took us back to Sylhet and a brief shopping visit. Our plane was late, but we still made it home to Dhaka before dinner. At the airport, a baby was crying for minutes. His cries had me missing the girls. As we walked to security checkin, I shooshed and spoke to him, as his father brought him my way. He quieted down, probably wondering what this silly white woman was saying. It was all I could do not to cry my way to checkin, missing our girls. By the end of the day, all of us with young families were missing home.

New Market

2012-01-06T21:27:00.000+06:00

Though construction was not completed until 1954, Dhaka still refers to this behemoth market as "New Market". Last week, my friend Corinna and I decided to venture to check it out. It did not disappoint. I really have yet to see a market in Dhaka which does not enthrall me. Everything here always feels so exotic, and the activity always keeps your attention.

We journeyed through slow traffic for about an hour to get there, all the while yapping and peering out the windows. Every stopped traffic light, as always, was accompanied by the familiar tap and "Madam" on the window, as the poor hoped for taka to be handed through the window.

(above) how the street can change in seconds

(below) street life is so hard- a little girl clothes less as ladies pick each others' hair

The market is so hectic and vibrant. We asked a silk shop owner where to buy silver, and he led us through the aisles and across an outside section to show us. He told us what items should cost, as we walked by shoes, pashmina scarves, jewelry, kitchenwares and more. Just to "practice his English", he joined us for most of the day, saving us at every stall we stopped by. We enjoyed his company and the knowledge he brought. On numerous instances, he told us just to walk away, that the cost was too high.

Neither of us was out with a mission to purchase anything in particular. We just enjoyed the morning and the array of sights before us. I definitely hope to visit again soon and stroll along the 10,000 stalls we did not get to in our first outing. Dhaka... one can never call it boring.

Animals Available

2012-01-06T19:29:00.000+06:00

Last week, my friend Corinna and I went to New Market (post to follow). Just before arriving at New Market, we passed Elephant Road and all of its pet shops. The area begins with beautiful flowers for sale and quickly turns into rows and rows of fish, birds, cats and supplies. Of course, we stopped for a look see. Corinna is a bird conniseur, while I fancy myself a die hard fish fanatic. So for both, it was bliss.

Hard to believe neither of us walked away with an addition to each family. I do plan to set up our 26 gallon tank, which we brought in our HHE shipment. The above rams (bottom left photo) will be one of the first inhabitants to said tank once it's up and running. It's hardly a completed home for us without a fish tank humming inside.

We both enjoyed how our driver edged up another car length or two as we meandered down the street.
Not sure if he was just extra attentive that day or ready for a fast getaway, as Corinna and I drew more attention than most of the pets. It's not every day the locals see two fanatical caucasian pet ladies, especially one toting a small baby in a pouch. As usual, we are a spectacle where ever we go.

Happy New Year!

2012-01-02T20:37:00.004+06:00

Thank you 2011 for a wonderful year!!

Wishing you all a Happy New Year and Wonderful 2012!!!

Krishnachura Trees

2011-12-21T23:07:00.000+06:00

There are several trees here in Bangladesh that are familiar to me now. But there are 3 that I am positive of on site- mango, jackfruit and krishnachura. And though the fruit/flowers of each are a dead giveaway, I recognize them all now also by foliage and even the bark of the jackfruit tree.

(above, l/r): jackfruit and mango in Dhaka, (below, both): krishnachura in Dhaka

The krishnachura (pronounced in Bangladesh as keesh-na-sura), delonix regia, is a very beautiful plant. The leaves are dainty, like a locust or mesquite tree, if you're familiar with them. And though I'm a sucker for beautiful foliage, what girl isn't right?, the show they put on during blooming season will knock your socks off.

folliage pic from Wikipedia

The flowers are a vibrant red with orange/yellow stamens. One can see where it gets its common name of Flame or Flamboyant tree. The seed pod that follows the flowers is equally as impressive, growing to lengths of 60 cm long and 5 cm wide, dark brown in color hanging from the branches.

Flamboyant tree, St. Kitts 2002

We saw our first Flamboyant tree in St. Kitts, over 10 years ago and have noticed them in countries since then. It is a tropical tree, so can be seen in many countries now, Guatemala, here, Madagascar, India, to name a few. We have friends heading to Madagascar next year and am sure they will see these beauties along with baobabs and many other amazing species... jealous :)

I learned the name krishnachura from our driver. And I'm sure he's tired of me pointing and saying it daily when we pass them. My Bangla vocabulary is not huge, but repetition is proving productive, adding a few words here and there. The handy men and guards laugh at my repitoire of : "shesh"/done, "donhobad"/thank you, "tik tiki"/gecko, "tikasay"/ok, etc. Let me tell you, I am no where near conversational Bangla, but enough to make locals smile (or just laugh at how simple minded I sound).

Anyway, if you ever get a glimpse, these trees are amazing!

Oven

2011-12-19T23:11:00.003+06:00

Have you ever thought of yours as a luxury item?

Our housekeeper has a family of 5. Though her oldest son is grown and out of the house, her grandson lives with her now for the opportunity of a better school than what their village can provide. I have baked cakes for him and her youngest son for their birthdays, as she does not own an oven. All of their cooking is done on an open fire on the roof or a gas single burner on the floor of their small apartment.

I bake all...the...time! In the spring, she asked if I could bake a cake for her son's birthday. She offered to pay me for the supplies. I turned her down on the reimbursement, but happily obliged with the baking. He was thrilled to have a fancy birthday cake. So when her grandson's birthday approached, he too hoped for a cake. I asked her to let me know what flavor he'd like... a strawberry cake was the answer. Hmmm. Not really expecting that one. She said he'd seen one in a book. So I made an angel food cake and sent her home with a bowl of sliced berries (frozen, as fresh are super rare here... and sour) and a tub of cool whip. Score!

Now I've started a tradition, at least for our couple years. Everyone in the house (driver, housekeeper, gardener, kids of housekeeper) get to choose a dessert on their birthday. Our driver turned 29 last week and chose peanut butter cookies. The house ate some fresh and warm, and he went home with a bag full. Our house helpers quickly became part of our extended family. Ceiba serenades them all with a hearty "Happy Birthday to You!".

And last week, she bought a large chicken with her extra babysitting money (she uses this for extra special family treats). She asked if we'd mind her to cook it while she was working. So we baked it for hours with vegetables, wrapped it up in aluminum foil, towels and a giant Sam's shopping bag. Her husband stopped by on his way home to help her carry everything on the rickshaw.

But honestly, baking here can be a luxury. It is nonexistent for most of the population, and the rest of us are at the daily mercy of the fuel levels. Most days the oven never even reaches its temperature. That is common. A 10 minute pizza can take an hour to cook just because of the low fuel levels pumping through to the houses. Many nights our housekeeper doesn't get gas at all at home and ends up lighting a bamboo fire on the roof.

When we were back in the States over the summer, I nearly burned dinner on more than one occasion, because I wasn't used to the temperature being ready at rocket speed. What I wouldn't give to have our oven to 350 in less than 30 minutes. Think of us the next time you make a Friday night Totino's pizza in 15!

Jaago School

2011-12-13T22:18:00.026+06:00

A few weeks ago, some EFMs (State talk for Eligible Family Members) had a 2 hour talk on volunteer work. There were only 2 groups represented, but it was a great chance to learn about their organizations.

Before we even arrived in Dhaka, I had planned to volunteer time in Bangladesh. I didn't know where I'd volunteer or what exactly I'd offer as a volunteer, but thought it'd be in the orphanage or woman shelter areas. Being pregnant wasn't really in my mind at the time, so when we landed in Dhaka and found out there was a bun in the oven, the agenda kinda went on the shelf. We've been here over a year now. Said bun (sweet Miss Avocet) is now out of the oven and well adjusted into life in Bangladesh, so Mama can spread her wings a little more freely now.

After the meeting, my friend Meghan and I decided to go to see the school and spend a few hours with the kids. We drove to the slum (about 200,000 people) outside of Banani neighborhood, hopped a boat across the green/grey lake and joined 80ish beautiful little smiling children for the morning.
A man from the school (Jaago Foundation, www.jaago.com.bd) met us under a busy viaduct to escort us across the lake. We paid the boat driver 20 taka (about $0.30) as we bumped up against the polluted lake shore. It was a steep walk up the embankment. Jaago's administrator Nody met us with a smile and thanked us for coming. We zigzagged through the labyrinth of the slum to the school, knowing a wrong turn could get us lost for hours. She admitted that she too has gotten lost on more than one occasion.

Most of the slum housing consists of tin single room shacks, no running water inside, no electricity. Building here is technically illegal, and houses can be knocked down at any time by the government. Busy life carried out in the shacks we passed. When we came upon the school, it was a happier looking place than I had expected. The buildings were brightly colored and very clean. Most of the bamboo construction was less than 5 months old, as this branch of Jaago was only recently opened. They had a small computer lab and library for the children, both very functional and nice. We entered the preschool classroom first. Forty little faces peered up at us as we took off our shoes and stepped inside.

"Good morning!" they all shouted with smiles in unison.

I felt me eyes well up, but returned "good morning" with a smile. There was nothing negative to cause my rush of emotion, but to the contrary. The environment, the enthusiasm to learn and the smiles on their faces were so positive, especially given the dire conditions in which all of their lives consist. These are the slums of Bangladesh, a land of over 160 million people, the world's most populated country. These slums are not a nice place. Jaago and many other organizations are working hard to make a difference in Bangladesh.

While there, we each took a small group of children to spend time. We sang songs, worked on puzzles, played and made holiday cards. The kids rushed to sit near us and hold our hands. Doesn't every child wish for this? We were lavished with drawings before we left, and we were hugged and smiled at a million times over.

I am not yet educated enough to tell you too much about Jaago, please visit their website above if you are interested in the facts of their organization. I commented that the first organization I really met here would probably pull me in, and they have. While I cannot financially offer a lot, I can offer a few hours a week of my time. And I can share their story and their mission to the handful of people that read my blog and hope the word keeps spreading. Maybe we can do a project with a US school class, maybe someone will want to send money (1000 taka/ about $12 a month sponsors one child for one month) or maybe more people can volunteer time. A little can go a long way :) Each little face made a big impact on me.

Their mission and vision are:

mission

JAAGO aims to bring about substantial improvement in the lives of disadvantaged people with special emphasis on their literacy and nourishment.

JAAGO works to provide international standard education to the impoverished children from families that have an average daily income below the International Indicator of Poverty (an income below 2 USD per day). This is done through a Free-of-Cost School with an international standard education curriculum.

JAAGO realizes that it is not possible to expect sustainable growth and self-reliance, without taking care of the emotional and physical development of all the stakeholders. As a result, various other programs have been established gradually to ensure the continuous growth of the community physically and mentally. 'Healthy Living', 'First Aid Center' and 'Call for Hygiene' are just some of the examples of such programs.

vision

JAAGO looks to create a better society for the next generation, which is free of exploitation, discrimination and violence, and supports the achievement of its highest potential.

No organization can succeed without focusing on its future existence. JAAGO is similarly focused not only on its current success but also on maintaining long-term sustainability. In doing so, the foundation concentrates on expanding its operations, not only in physical presence but also in program variation. JAAGO increases its family, by adding one new class each year.

In the long-run, JAAGO Foundation intends to have a fully operational branch in every district of Bangladesh. JAAGO wishes to give as many children as possible the opportunity to break free of the cycle of poverty.

Fresh Veggies

2011-12-06T09:34:00.002+06:00

When we filled out the housing questionnaire for Dhaka, one of the only items we requested was some green space for gardening and for Ceiba to play. We got assigned an apartment... without one blade of grass.

Honestly, no hard feelings (I got over it). The apartment is uber-nice, with a floor plan WAY nicer than most of the embassy houses. And we don't have any giant, three-story, scary staircases to worry about.

And in the gardening category, the sunny rooftop is working out swell. Our gardener and I talk every day and go over what to plant next. We supply him with seeds and sincere interest, he grows and tends to some great homegrown veggies (and the occasional papaya), and we lavish him with thanks and smiles. Ceiba helps me pick lettuce at least 3 times a week lately, which Chris enjoys in a salad everyday for work. I use several of the near perennial herbs in our meals. We anxiously await the next vegetables to ripen, as do our apartment neighbors and all of our house staff. Nothing goes to waste and everyone shares in the good fortune (and grocery $ savings) of our own garden. Our helpers teach us how to cook local produce, and we share items that would be expensive or nonexistent on the local economy.

top: (l to r) zucchini/squash/broccoli, Chris/Avocet/Ceiba grill dogs, our salad patch 1 of 3

below: (l to r) gourd/pumpkins, salad patch, our one wonderful smelling rose

top: (l to r) gourds/pumpkins, basil, tomatoes

below: (l to r) ginger, crown of thorns/euphorbia mili, papayas (sex yet tbd)

top: (l to r) tomatoes, eggplant/onion/herbs/cauliflower/cabbage, parsley

below: (l to r) veggie row!

top: (l to r) chives/bougainvillea/spinach/papaya, our good female papaya, lemongrass

Our current crops:
tomatoes (2 kinds), broccoli, cauliflower, cabbage, zucchini, yellow squash, gooseneck gourds, local green pumpkin, lettuce/mesclun (6 types), spinach, capsicum/peppers (green & colored), jalapenos, green chilies, ginger (from a prolific start in our pantry), pineapples (from leftover tops of fruit), eggplant, yellow onions.

And our herbs on tap:
oregano, chives, lemongrass, sage, parsley (2 kinds), dill, basil, rosemary, thyme, mint.

Khalec, our gardener, now understand crop rotation better, and he now has 3 separate beds of salad greens, all growing at different stages so that we have a constant supply. Lettuce is expensive here, not much variation and can be difficult to sanitize well, so having our own supply is super.

We also have 3 small lime trees, 3 papaya trees and a constant assortment of ginger and other flowers. We learned from our gardener that papayas are either male (flowering, flowering, showy, but no fruit) or female (all work to fruit and no show). He has one great female! The other 2 were males, but he cut them down and started new plants in hopes for females. We're waiting to see the outcome.

The space and the crops it produce are not enormous, but we enjoy them both to the fullest! Plants grow and produce so quickly here. My Grandpa Wilbur would be thrilled to see what a great garden we are helping tend :)

House coat

2011-11-29T22:15:00.000+06:00

Our househelper, Mrs. Mokta, is muslim. Each morning when she arrives and night when she leaves, she covers herself from head to toe. She doesn't cover her face, but does wear a flowered burka over her body and a scarf over her head, which is traditional here for devote muslim women. Daily, she wears a shalwar kamiz (pj type pants and a thigh/knee length tunic top with scarf). Occasionally, if she comes in to babysit in a Friday evening, we might catch a rare glimpse of her in a sari. On those days, we giggle and tell her how pretty she looks. She is quick to blush.

Tonight as she was leaving, she stopped in the kitchen where we were making dinner, to grab a sack. She had on her burka, but didn't have her scarf on yet.

Ceiba said, "Mrs. Mokta has her housecoat on."

It could not have sounded cuter!

We explained to her what Mrs. Mokta was wearing and explained to Mrs. Mokta what a housecoat was. We all enjoyed a smile. And Ceiba got a pronounciation lesson from Mrs. Mokta on the word "burka".

River Trip

2011-11-28T22:06:00.000+06:00

The blue SUV in front of us stopped. Charlie opened the driver's side door and walked back to us. "We're about to get off the interstate, the roads could get a little rough."

Everyone smiled, and I cackled out loud for minutes, tickling myself again with his quote each time my previous laugh subsided. If you had seen the crazy village backroads we were on (and knew Charlie's charasmatic and witty nature), you couldn't help but chuckle.

It was the day after a nice home cooked Thanksgiving with them and other friends. Ana and Charlie, our upstairs neighbors and aunt/uncle of sorts, had invited us to join them for an afternoon on the river. Ceiba's eyes lit up, Chris happily accepted and my mind soared at the invitation. Unfortunately, Avocet is well into teething, and we were afraid she would not enjoy 3+ hours in the car. We weren't sure what all the ride and boat would entail, so she spent a snuggly afternoon with our ayah/housekeeper in the a/c and the comfort of her own crib.

We took out at 1PM, a caravan of 2 cars - does that actually constitute a caravan? - enroute through the bustling streets of Dhaka. Our journey led us out past the airport and then more off the beaten path, past vibrant markets, villages enjoying their holy day, a wedding, brick breaking, being literally stopped in traffic as men prayed across the street, past waterways and along single lane bridges and narrow paths. Chris & Ceiba sat in the back; I commendeered the front seat, snapping photos all the way.

Arriving at an open soccer field, we parked and gathered our bags. Our driver, Bijoy, stayed with the cars while we ventured to the water's edge, flanked by our welcoming boatsman. The boat floated alone on the low riverbank, a small wood plank out to invite us aboard. First though, there was the business of petting the adorable, coal black kid goats on our way down to the water. Ceiba was nothing short of in love with them, gently kneeling down to touch them, all the while giggling and smiling a genuine, full-bodied smile. She was in her element, loving on the babies and enjoying the attention of the adults around her. We leisurely boarded, laid down our blankets, opened our coolers and saundered our way down the river.

The water level was very low, especially for being so early in the dry season, but we managed quite well the whole afternoon, stopping only a few times to clear water hyacinth and vegetation from the propellor. We enjoyed sausage, cheese, chips/salsa, pecan pie, popcorn, wine and drinks on our ride, while our eyes devoured the view.

The river is alive with activity, beginning with nature, birds mostly, and turning into the vibrant activity of the villagers and farmers along the shore and in passing boats. Many were out hand digging new rice paddies along the banks, now exposed by the dropping water level. Farmers were tending to livestock and beautiful crops; Bangladesh is now well into the prosperous, cool growing season. The brick factory, one of many along the country's waterways, was busy with activity, the heat waves from the ground furnaces visible afar. Ferries chocked full of passengers meandered beside us.

It was a feast for the eyes; my camera seldom lowered from my eyes. It was the rare opportunity to enjoy the many beautiful sights Bangladesh has to offer and a chance to refuel the recently flickering flame for life here. Sometimes daily life in the busy city can wear on me, but it takes the smallest moment to refuel me. Whether it's a quaint encounter with a friendly person uptown or a beautiful day like this outside of town, once replenished, my love for the people and life here is genuine and heartfelt. It is a beautiful place with resilient people. I disappoint myself sometimes when I briefly lose sight of that. The afternoon was a perfect one, and a chance for me to feel artistic again. I could sit behind a lense all day and enjoy the photos a million times over after the moment is gone.

As the sun began to set, we were sad to see our day come to an end. The markets still bustled as we journeyed home. My camera passed out on the ride, worn out from its hard work. What a wonderful day!

Mosquito Lure

2011-11-22T20:05:00.000+06:00

Ummmm... that would be my head.

Our bed is king sized, our mosquito net is not. Last year was comical at night- me getting up 10 times a night to go to the bathroom while way pregnant, hurdling a body sized pillow and crawling under the mosquito net. We really hate the net for us (we cover the girls nightly), so are postponing it as long as possible. The cool season has just started, so the mosquitoes aren't in full force just yet. How they get into the house is beyond me, but they always do get in. We racket several each night, and it never fails that in the wee hours of the evening, one will always find its way into our bedroom. I usually awake to several bites on an outstretched arm, which peeks from beneath mounds of blankets and pillows. Our air con is set at 19 C (frigging cold), so usually only one arm and my head peer out. Once the biting begins, I stealthily withdraw the vulnerable arm beneath the safety of the covers, leaving only my head out. I wait. The mosquito takes the bait of my head being out and lands delicately atop. I wait for the perfect moment and pounce.

It is ridiculous that I do this most evenings. It's kind of like a tiny hair on your skin, just that tiny touch that drives you bonkers. Maybe I have crazy senses (you should have seen me when I was pregnant- smell, touch, hearing- all super ninja strength sensory). But the mosquitoes are done for once I decide to hunt them with the self head lure. Sometimes, unfortunately, the pillowcase bares the mark of the battle.

Most mornings I wake up accomplished from fighting the good fight. Some days I awake defeated with the mark of the mosquito plastered across my forehead, but in Dhaka it is a common scene.

Borneo

2011-11-15T19:25:00.001+06:00

Let me begin with saying that I was a terrible photographer on our trip to Borneo/Malaysia last week... but maybe that means I was a good relaxer? Ha. If you have kids, you know full well the word relax and kid have no business being in the same sentence. If you plan to have kids, take this to know you will not relax... for years... but parenthood is great.

In all honesty, the girls travel very well. They were great on the trip, but they are still kids. Borneo is an amazing place and one that I hope to see again with older kids (or kidless). I can truly imagine that one could get fully and completely lost just 10 feet from a road. The jungle there is immense and pristine. The ocean there is immense and pristine. We really never saw much of either. We did see a lot of hotel rooms and pools and malls.

(above, l to r - Chris and Ceiba checking out the bugs at night, palm at the hotel, Avocet at the pool)

(below, l to r - kiddie pool area, Avocet on the beach, Ceiba with the dancers after dinner)

(above, l to r - lilies at the hotel, girls swimming, Ceiba dancing)

(below, l to r - Denise/Avocet on the balcony, fish in the market, water buffalo in traffic)

(above, l to r - our hotel in Kota Kinabalu, mosque in KK)

(below, l to r - fishing vessels in KK, Chris showing Ceiba the bowling ropes, the girls at the aquarium)

(above, l to r - all of us at the aquarium in Kuala Lumpur)

(below- Ceiba at the zoo, Petronas Towers/ didn't take any good pics)

We spent most of our time in Kota Kinabalu, on the island of Borneo in the state of Sabah. We had a lot of pool and beach time and plenty of naps. Our 3 days in Kuala Lumpur were spent eating, shopping and seeing the aquarium and zoo. Chris and Ceiba had a day at the zoo alone, as with the heat, Avocet and I opted for a long nap and packing. The zoo hasn't been updated since the 60s, but still filled an afternoon for them. We all had a good vacation!

4 months old

2011-10-18T21:37:00.002+06:00

Avocet is 4 months old today, so hard to believe!

She:

Eats, eats, eats! We call her our piranha, and oh is she! In the daylight, you better give her a bottle, because natural just can't supply fast enough. Though at night (half asleep), she is happy to cuddle and nurse.

Smiles and giggles all the time. Her laugh is contagious, no one in the room can deny her a return smile... it's just not humanly possible.

Loves the water. She is content in a pool, though we don't put her little white body in the sun too much yet. In the bathtub, she's a kicking machine!

Tries to crawl. She's moving around, butt in the air and pushing her way around. Though not officially crawling yet, she is trying her best. She also sits assisted, but almost can do it alone.

Has a hot streak... a firecracker fuse like her late Gpa Fred, I like to think. She can smile one minute and fuss at you the next, usually only involving a hungry belly.

Sleeps well. Not through the night, but often good 5-6 hour streaks at night. I'm happy with that :)

Is adored by her big sister Ceiba, whose first words in the morning or when home from school is either "where is Avocet" or "where's MY baby". Ceiba has been the most wonderful big sister, loving on and playing with her baby every chance she gets.

Is really growing on her Papa... he loved her from the start, but I see a lot more sparkles the more interactive she gets. She's pretty hooked on him too.

Could be a tug of war rope. Ms. Mokta and I almost race to see who can scoop her out of bed first when she wakes from a nap. Our gardener and driver also find reasons to come upstairs and hold her at least once a day too.

Is so so loved.

Though she's only 4 months old, she's been inside our hearts for nearly 400 days, and we cannot imagine a moment without her.

Nepal

2011-10-11T00:46:00.003+06:00

We spent our one year Bangladesh anniversary outside of Bangladesh, oddly enough. On our list of “to-dos” while living here, was a visit to Nepal. A short 45 minute flight gets you from Dhaka to Kathmandu, but unfortunately there are few direct air carriers available. Originally, we planned to leave on the 5th, but due to flight time changes, we bumped our flight up a day so not to miss our connection to Pokhara.

The Dashain holiday fell October 1-10, so traffic was much milder than usual. We spent Tuesday night at the Samsara Hotel in Kathmandu. Nothing fancy, but we were close to the tourist area of Thamel, and since we had no plans to be in town on the 4th, we just grabbed a hotel through an airport vendor. It turned out fine, though we couldn’t find our key when we checked out. Luckily, the hotel overlooked it... and we found it upon unpacking back in Dhaka. It was tucked inside a certain 4 year old’s coin purse.

On Day 2, we hopped a small turbo prop on Yeti Air west to Pokhara, where we stayed 3 days and 2 nights at the Fish Tail Lodge on Lake Fewa. It is a really cool small resort on an island outside of town. To get to the lodge, they have small ferries that are pulled across to the mainland. Ceiba loved the ferry and even caught a small canoe ride across on another day. Chris let her go across with just the boatmaster, while he waited ashore. She was proud of herself, and he was amazed she went without him.

While in Pokhara, we mostly relaxed in our neat bungalow, soaking in the mountain air (though warmer than we anticipated), swam, enjoyed room service (as dinner started after 7PM when the mosquitoes were out) and napped. We did take a quick day trip to Devi’s Falls and shopped around the Tibetan craftsmen community. The Tibetan people are so smiley and do such beautiful jewelry work. Several of the ladies also enjoyed jostling Avocet with our driver, while Chris and I walked around with Ceiba. We also stopped at an amazing suspension bridge on the way back. The bridge spans the gorge, linking two separate mountain communities, hosting heavy foot traffic. A beautiful, clear river head watered from the Himalayas wound its way beneath.

We flew back to Kathmandu on Friday afternoon, after a lengthy delay at the airport, and enjoyed a few more days in the city at the Yak and Yeti Hotel. We shopped a bit (jewelry weakness!) and enjoyed green space with the girls. Chris picked up a cool Gurka knife, and we couldn’t leave without wool caps and a few pashmina wool scarves.

On Saturday, we ventured out for another small guided trip to Bhaktapur, the old capital, though the trip was a whirlwind tour. We were assured of an air conditioned car, only to get half way out and learn it was definitely not a/c. Plus, one of the back windows didn’t roll down, so before we even got to the destination, we were about toasted and the kids were less than chipper. A quick run through and photo snaps, and then we headed back to the hotel for a nap in the a/c. Bhaktapur is beautiful however, and Chris & I were both glad to have gotten to see a small glimpse.

Our kids never ceased to draw attention wherever we went. With everyone thinking Ceiba was Nepali and the oddity of a white baby in Nepal, we felt like the paparazzi was behind us all the time snapping photos. Avocet drew many smiles, squeezes and words from passers by. We spoke of Ceiba’s Guatemalan heritage more times than we could count, though most still had no idea where Guatemala is. Every time we travel, people think Ceiba is from there (Hawaii, Bali, Bangladesh, Thailand, Nepal, etc). Chris even had to tell a few Indian ladies to go easy on the goods, when they tried to pinch Avocet’s cheeks. By the end of the trip, we were ready to be out of the limelight.

Another flight delay on Sunday (seeing a pattern here?), and we were home Sunday night only to sit in Dhaka traffic for another hour. We were all happy to be in our own beds for the evening, but enjoyed our time in Nepal and the opportunity to see the Himalayas and Mt. Everest. Traveling in a developing country is no small task when toting two small children, but so worth the adventure and effort!

You'd drink it, right?!

2011-09-28T23:39:00.015+06:00

Gosh, what some people will do for drunkedness!!

Mein brewmaster is at it again!
Chris continues to brew and bottle homemade beers as often as the kits arrive. He enjoys brewing and has generated quite a following at the chancery.

His latest is a maple syrup beer, now gestating in the front bedroom (since we NEVER get house guests... hint hint family and friends). Beer drinking friends are patiently awaiting its due date.

School Bento Boxes

2011-09-28T11:16:00.001+06:00

Last year, preschoolers had snack time at school. We went through numerous ziplock bags for carrots, pbjs, goldfish, you name it. Occasionally, I would be at school during snack time and see a few cute little bento boxes being pulling from tiny backpacks. This became my mission... find these bento boxes!

I finally got around to searching for said boxes a few days before school started. Why I didn't do it a few WEEKS before school, while we were still in the States, is irrelevant (you know why... new baby memoryitis). I found a few really cute ones online, but I wasn't keen on the small fortune prices. After searching several places, I bought some on Amazon (from www.easylunchboxes.com) for about $12 for 3. One DAY after ordering online, I walked into a Korean grocery in Dhaka and found some little divided tupperware containers for even less. Of course, I bought a few extras (hoarder that I am). Now Ceiba and Chris are stylin' for lunches and snacks every day.

It seems silly that such a little thing can bring joy to me in the mornings when packing lunches or snacks, but it really does. They are cute, easy to use and GREEN, which makes us all happy. It's actually even a little fun to find just the right snack to fill each little hole, knowing Ceiba will light up when she opens her backpack each day for snack time.

Road Work

2011-09-27T23:05:00.002+06:00

In the summertime, most travelers in the Midwest cuss the construction workers for screwing up their vacation road trips. People sit for hours in traffic on hot summer days while IDOT/MODOT/whoeverDOT workers lean on stop/slow signs. While I'm sure there are state workers in the US who earn their paychecks out on the roadways, they'll likely never work this hard :

The work involved in asphalting the roads here is jaw dropping. Most tasks involve hours of manual labor from underpaid workers whose stomachs are rarely full and lives are shortened by the working conditions. Workers are either busting bricks with a hammer, shoveling hot asphalt onto a bicycle or old women are fanning caustic flames under 50 gallon drums of fire hot tar.

So to the government road workers back in the States, appreciate that $50 an hour. Here workers barely make $0.50 an hour, and they don't have air conditioned cabs.

Groundhog Day - Mama Style

2011-09-17T15:46:00.002+06:00

Yesterday, sleeping in sounded delightful, but as we have 2 small children, that really wasn't realistic. Some days I can lay Avocet in bed after a morning feeding, and persuadeeeeee Ceiba to lay in bed with the portable dvd player and quiet movie for maybe an extra hour. Poor parenting, I know, but sometimes ya just gotta do it. And the night time feedings take several precious sleep hours out of most nights for me. But Chris was out town, out of the country for that matter, for work, and Ceiba had dance, so no sleeping or trying to sleep in for us.

We got up on time, even managing to Skype with grandparents for a couple minutes before having to bid them adieu in order to make class on time. On Fridays, our house help have the day off, so I loaded up the kidlets in the car and off we went to ballet class, early too, I might add.

Upon arriving at 0850 for the 0900 class, the lights were off and no one around. One would think my brain might kick in at this point, but alas it did not. So we turned on the lights... and the fan... and the a/c... and pulled out some chairs... and sat alone... and heard noises so thought someone MUST be getting things ready... and then sat some more. I wondered if I'd missed a memo about a holiday or got omitted from a phone tree for a sick teacher. I read the bulletin boards and saw the instructor's name and number... so called her to ask if I'd missed the memo.

Nope... just showed up on Friday when ballet is on Saturday. Wrong day. Nice.

I had felt so accomplished for getting out the door, kids dressed and fed, me dressed and fed, drove ourselves, didn't turn on the wrong road (like I did last week... when the driver called off on SATURDAY), and we arrived a tad early. But instead of watching others scramble to kick off shoes and push tushies into the room 5 minutes late, we sat in the dark and waited. Ooops.

Then we missed Bollywood dance, which was scheduled on FRIDAY, because both girls were fast asleep and it was pouring rain. So today, we went BACK to ballet class, where I got to be the 5 minute late- kick off shoes- push tush parent. Don't I get 'atta girl points for yesterday? Please.

Daily Dhaka

2011-08-30T22:36:00.001+06:00

I've always carried a tiny point and shoot camera in my purse, but lately have been taking my Minolta out when I run uptown or just on a drive to the embassy. On any given day, there are a million opportunities to catch a cool photo... maybe because there are about 20 million people walking by at any given moment.

Some photos from today, just around town.

Caged Bird

2011-08-26T22:50:00.007+06:00

When Ceiba comes home from the bus, I wait inside the walls of our apartment property. I stand behind these bars and watch the world go by. It isn't that Dhaka is that unsafe, but it's also not necessary to advertise to the world that expats live where we do. Though it is impossible for a light haired, blue eyed, caucasian woman to "blend" into Bangladesh, why draw more attention than necessary. Often, passers by will notice me behind the bars and rubber neck to soak the scene in. They look at me like a caged zoo attraction.

So as I stood one day this week, I thought about how the view summed up most of our time since we've returned to Dhaka. Having an infant, not to mention a 4 year old, can be a bit immobilizing in a developing country. Heck, it's hard enough to be mobile and confident with a little one in the US, let alone have all the obstacles we face here on any given day.

For the first week back, Avocet pretty much wigged out every...time...we...left...the...house. We ventured to the commissary and to the embassy on separate days, each time getting stuck in about an hour of traffic to go all of 10ish blocks to get home. It wasn't pretty. She fussed and cried and just did not enjoy the ride. I tried to soothe and hum and comfort and bounce and rock and not loose my tear-holding-in-control, all while knowing if I just nursed her, she would calm down. But, though I like our driver, we do not need to be on that personal of a relationship. So she cried most of the way home, and then I thought best to board us up at home for the next week until the jet lag and the overwhelmingness of Dhaka to her little self passed.

We are doing better and now feeling a bit more comfortable to venture further and further. We had a med unit well baby check this week, where Avocet tipped the scales at 13.4 lbs and 23.5 inches at 9 1/2 weeks. So she is doing great! And hopefully she is thriving on my nutrition as opposed to the alternative reason for her growth... some crazy pollutant from Dhaka or some kryptonite fertilizer they spread on the vegetables. Hopefully, it's the former :)

Of course the vaccinations from said medical appointment did not make her a very happy camper, so my evening plans to attend the school open house for Ceiba turned into the night at home. Chris represented both parents, while I comforted Avocet at home. Luckily, her little pitifulness was short lived.

Parents out there living abroad, we feel your pain. Most of us have no sidewalks for strollers, no koala kids for changing diapers, no high chairs at restaurants (heck not even many food safe restaurants), no snack packs or fruit snacks at the local grocery, no-way-would-I-put-my-kid-on-that-ride amusement parks. The list of what we don't have could go on forever... but then again so could the list of things that our children will experience that we never did as children.

Though there will always be days that are difficult to raise children as global nomads, we look forward with optimism at the wonderful world that our children will experience, touch, feel, smell and breath and not just read about in books.

New Construction

2011-08-20T21:30:00.000+06:00

After a trip to Bali last year, we came home to the building next door being demolished. When we returned from our baby medevac this month, there was new construction beginning in that red earth lot. Luckily, the apartment going up won't be completed by the time we depart next year. And also fortunately, the construction site is to the north of our house (won't lose the sunlight) and is also on the side of our home without bedrooms. Really, we don't hear a whole lot of noise yet, especially compared to the many other embassy families living with noise and inconvenience every day.

Here in Bangladesh, demolition and construction are generally done by traveling groups (maybe families?) who live on site during the process. So we have a group of people now living in shacks next door during the construction. We often smell trash burning at night, and especially did during the colder winter months of demolition. One restroom (green block above) from the previous building was retained onsite to be used during construction.They live in very modest accommodations, work most of the day and sometimes night, and generally eat and nap during the hottest part of the day.

I snapped a few shots today from our stairwell. There are no air conditioned earth moving machines, no power tools. The rebar is cut by hand and all work is manual. The women carry baskets of soil on their heads, moving piles from one spot to another. Construction does not move quickly, but it is miraculous to watch a building be raised. The people here work very hard to make a living.

While I was snapping photos, one of the young men saw me. I tried to be discrete and moved to another floor in the stairwell. We made eye contact, and he motioned me to come down. I just smiled and went back in the house, later deciding I really would love to have the opportunity to take some closer photos. Work stopped when I walked on the scene, all eyes were on me. It is normal to purposely not smile for photos, so I always enjoy when I catch a smile out of someone. They all enjoyed seeing their photos on the LCD screen. Of course, one woman asked for taka (money) before I left, but a nice gentlemen spoke to her in Bangla and smiled as I walked back home. I thanked them and plan to go back next week with photos in hand for each of them.

Labor

2011-08-20T08:35:00.002+06:00

I am not a medical terminology educated person, I'll be the first to admit. I do not enjoy watching surgery on television, but Chris definitely does enjoy it. I could work on animals wounds all day (courtesy of growing up on a farm, I guess), but humans... not so much. I can deal with kiddo scrapes, but stitches and open wounds, well I'll pass when I can.

I read and re-read the What to Expect book until it nearly fell open when I picked it up. Who knows how many hours I spent reading it. I was literally speaking, as educated on labor and delivery as I could be. Books, however, don't tell you all the nitty gritty about the finals hours of pregnancy. I relied on my candid sister, sisters-in-law, friends, etc to fill me in on those graphic moments. They laughed (while I winced in fear) for hours telling me about the size of their newborns heads, "pretend you're going number 2" when you push, pads the size of a mattress and more. Don't even get me started on their comic stories of relieving engorged breasts in the kitchen sink like milking a cow, crying in the shower with cracked nipples or leaking through shirts at the cry of any nearby child. My "ladies" have kept me in laughing stitches for weeks, and their honest talks have been invaluable.

A friend (hi Eve!) asked me to expand on our labor and delivery experience, and I feel I should, as she is abroad getting ready for her own final pregnancy hours, far from the candid mouths of her "ladies". I'll try to not be too graphic, but yet give her a look into our experience. Let me just repeat what I've been told and can attest honestly to... once you hold your beautiful new baby, any less than desirable moments from the past 9 months will go out the window... honest and true my dear. Honest and true.

Our original due date was June 20th, but all along the ultrasounds read June 14th, so that was really the due date in my mind. I had a gallbladder attack around week 37, but other than that, everything (aside from trimester 1 blahs) went great with the pregnancy. I did have some contractions from the end of May on, but even though they were steady, they never got strong enough or less than 3 minutes. Until...

It was Friday, and I woke up feeling different. We were out doing errands and stopped at McDonald's for lunch. Chris headed to meet with a nutrition guy from his gym, while Ceiba and I ate lunch. At 1100 contractions started. I propped my feet up on the seat in our booth and waited for Chris to get back. He knew when he walked in that I was feeling different. I knew better than to go anywhere yet, so we decided to go walk around Wal-mart for a while. The weather was turning, a storm was on its way, and our OB doctor mentioned weeks earlier that many women go into labor when the barometric pressure drops. Come on rain!

We took our time, going down every aisle, spending lots of time in the toy section keeping Ceiba busy. My walking was getting slower and more painful, contractions sometimes stopping me in stride. I took numerous trips to the restroom, noticing things were changing. My last trip from the back of the store all the way to the restroom seemed to take forever. Upon arriving, the cleaning cart was in the doorway with a sign to come back. I wanted to cuss! Really, all this walk and all this pressure. Now what? The attendant peeked her head out, to which I said, "I am WAY pregnant. Can you tell me when you'll be finished?" She advised me there was another restroom in the back of the store. Where? Oh, of course it's by the toy section... where I just trekked from.... and why wouldn't it be.

Around 2PM, I told Chris we should probably make our way to the check out and call his parents to camp out with Ceiba. We headed home first to finish bag packing. By then it was raining. I remember getting out of the car in the rain, but stopping mid stride in the rain until a contraction passed.

Chris's dad and brother met us at the hospital, with his brother mock traffic controlling us into the pavillion. Ceiba went home with gpa, while Uncle Erk helped count contractions and entertain us with stories of their delivery. By 3PM, contractions were less than 2-3 minutes apart.

Okay, this is turning into a long story. By now, I have the attention of moms-to-be wanting the nitty gritty and been-there-done-that moms reminescing. Thanks audience.

I had hopes to go o'natural on the birthing plan. At one point, I always even planned to birth at home, but hey we don't exactly have a homey home anymore. Though I did not plan to veto the epidural option, I just wanted to try without it. My body decided for me.

When the nurse checked my cervix at about 3PM, I was only 1 cm, which I had been for weeks. The first thing she asked was if I'd ever had a Leep procedure (biopsy on the cervix due to abnormal pap). I had. She said sometimes this caused scar tissue, which made dilation difficult. Perfect, just perfect.

So crazy contractions really kicked in about 9PM. And just kill me contractions lasted, less than seconds apart, until almost 3AM. In that time, I laid, sat, stood, walked, cried, yelled, screamed, groaned and all but begged to be put out of my misery.... to which my ever patient hubby, feeling helpless painfully watching his poor miserable wife labor replied "PLEASE take the epidural".

I felt like if I could just hold out until the scar tissue ruptured, dilation would happen and I could make it through delivery without the epidural. In the meantime, I had agreed to drugs, but after 3 rounds, the nurse said they wouldn't help anymore. So by 3AM, and the nurse for about the 6th time telling me I was still at 1 cm, I sobbed tearless cries and succumbed to the epidural with a nod. Chris followed with "she nodded yes, is that good enough? Will you please give her the epidural?" And so the anistesiologist was summoned. Chris sighed in relief. And I continued to be speechless and doubled over until he arrived.

Aren't anestesiologists chipper? They watch women moaning in pure agony and yet smile away. Not sure if it's due to just seeing SO many woman in this state or knowing they are about to "make it all go away" and be the hero of the day. Anyway, he was chipper. Chris sat in front of me, taking the brunt of my digging hands (into his 2 day old tattoo, which I'd forgotten about in my poor state), while I tried to not budge a millimeter while contractions continued and the needle dove into my spine. It all went well and in moments the nirvana of relaxation began. It...felt...nice. For hours, I had been a clenched ball of muscles spasms in pain, but now it drifted away. The "GET THE EPIDURAL" advice of all the women I'd spoken with now became clear. Okay, it wasn't the plan, but neither was a cervix that never had any intention to help me out.

Within the hour, I dilated to a 5. Throughout the next day, I progressed, but not rapidly. Avocet's heart rate stayed great and steady. Later into the late morning, the epidural was wearing off or she was getting lower and the pain started to build again. At the contractions became harder, my dilation progression slowed. So they upped the epidural again, and by 5PM we were FINALLY ready to move to delivery and start pushing. Woo hoo!

By now I was a woman on a mission. Get this baby out of me! We wanted to meet her desperately and getting the pain to subside would be a welcome bonus. The nurses and we were by now on a very personal basis, mentally and very physically (wow, when people say your modesty goes out the window, they aren't kidding). She said for a first time delivery, 3 hours + of pushing is not unusual. I rolled my eyes at her, and she smiled and said "but your delivery will not be 3 hours". I was shooting for less than an hour. Baby was very low at this point. With each contraction, came 3 pushes of 10 counts each with a breath in between. Chris laughed that I asked him to scratch my nose, as my arms were busy holding my legs. Sorry, not the greatest mental picture, but it is what it is ladies and gentlemen.

After 30ish hours of labor, we had 30 minutes of delivery. The plan of not needing to watch, as not to change the magnetism that created this baby, went out the window when pushing began. Chris watched and coached and cheered me on. Though when offered for me to feel her emerging, I passed on it, still with my eyes closed and mind determined to get her out into the world. And when she did arrive and the doctor offered Chris to cut the cord, he too passed. We were thrilled that she was here, but we were fine to let the doctor do the delivering.

The final push was amazing. In moments she laid on my chest and time stood still. It was a take a picture with your mind moment; one I never want to forget. She was perfect and here and ours. Love, true love.

The Belly

2011-08-19T22:39:00.001+06:00

The day before Ceiba & I left Dhaka for our medevac to deliver Avocet, I drug everyone to the balcony for a timered family photo of our belly. I had gotten henna done on my arms for the trip back. Then I labored over the "good" camera... to take or not to take. One more bag to carry on the plane and would we really get it out during our trip to IL. So I left it...and the belly shots. So am just now getting to see them. Part of me does miss the belly, the beautiful feeling (after the 3rd month) of being pregnant and feeling her move inside me.

But having a cooing, warm, beautiful baby nestled into my neck is just amazing. Yep, I'll take a plump baby over a plump belly anytime :)

Through the window

2011-08-14T22:43:00.002+06:00

We returned to Dhaka a week ago, but already it feels like longer. Chris is back to work (piles of it), Ceiba started back to preschool today, while Avocet & I are getting things done at home. We miss our family & friends, miss the conveniences of America, but find comfort in being "home" again. There is also much more time for us as a small family, without the pulling of time while in the States.

Yesterday, Ceiba and I quickly went uptown with our driver. School was a day away, and we realized her shoes were nearly all too small. Those that did fit were not allowable (crocs, flip flops). We did buy shoes in the States, but they're in the mail along with another 15 boxes of misc that we mailed back.

While driving, or more so while sitting at a traffic light, I realized again how sad it can be to live in Dhaka. The poverty is immense. It has always been hard for me to see and hear people knocking on the windows for money... hard to explain to Ceiba what is going on, while being kind and compassionate. I know we cannot roll down the window and give to even one person, or there would be tens lined outside our home every day waiting for a handout. There would be people every day stalking our car for money.

Yesterday, maybe because we now have a tiny baby at home, the sight of limp and sleeping babies in their mothers' (or women pretending to be their mothers) arms was almost more than I could bare. Tears pooled in my eyes as I waited for the light to change to green. It was difficult not to roll down the window. I didn't want to give money. I wanted to take the children from their mothers arms and pull them into the car. I wanted to take them home.

Many children here are purchased by beggars to gain more sympathy from donators. The children are used for extra money while they are small and cute and then turned to the streets when they reach an age when they don't draw enough money anymore. There are so many homeless children, dirty and starving on the streets. You often see them in groups, barely clothed, sleeping in the busy medians. It rips your heart out. Now, it tears at me even more than before.

I wish Bangladesh had an adoption agreement with the US, as there are thousands if not millions of children in need of homes here. There are so many waiting families in the US that could provide loving homes. Before heading here, I researched in depth the situation, but it was not possible as a US citizen to adopt. Yesterday, I knew I could offer just dollars, and one of those women would probably have handed a child to me through the car window. I would have held them and fed them and loved them, but they could never have become a citizen and moved out of Bangladesh with our family. As taunted as I always am with the idea, it isn't an option. It would actually be trafficing, illegal, against policies the US is here to promote, wrong, unethical... but it would feel so good to hold just one starving baby close, feed them, love them and rock them to sleep... like I do now at night with our own healthy child.

I enjoy living here, but it can be so hard sometimes just to look out the window.

Taking one for the Team

2011-07-15T02:12:00.008+06:00

Last week, my dear hubby took one for the team... so that OUR team, now a comfortable 4 members, will not accidentally expand. We enjoy the one parent to one munchkin ratio, especially with the nomadic lifestyle we've adopted.

My nearly 20 years of contraception vs. his 30 minutes isn't exactly equal, but still very appreciated. He had a delicate week of recooperating (by the third day he was able to golf even)... vs. my 9 months of pregnancy, 3 months of morning sickness, 3/4 of a year of peeing every 2 hours, gallbladder attack, 30 hours of labor, 30 minutes of wowwee delivery, weight gain, giant ta-tas, every 3 hour feedings, etc.

Again...honestly... his sacrifice is VERY much appreciated! I just like giving him a hard time.

His words to me in the car after the procedure were about the funniest I've heard...

"Now I know how you feel."

A puzzled look from me.

His reply, "They made me put my feet in the stirrups."

PRICELESS!

Well, I don't think the feel of steel on his heels classifies him for motherhood just yet, but glad he got to experience that moment for himself and especially that he took a mental note to tell me so.

Thanks honey... very much appreciated!

Where to begin- Where have we been?

2011-07-08T08:57:00.001+06:00

I have been quite blog absent as of late. Please forgive, but both hands have been full of either kiddos, shopping bags, breasts, dirty diapers, one tiny butt, fast food and more. We are fully enjoying having our days filled with activities and watching the girls grow before our very eyes. Hours are spent with family and friends. And we are now saddening as we have less than a month left in the US before heading back around the globe. Though life back at "home" will also be welcome, it will be hard to leave loved ones (and Papa being around 24/7) when we depart IL.

Since I've been so absent, it's hard to know where to begin posting. Of course, though the keyboard has gotten dusty, the camera has definitely not. Maybe it's best to post pics of what we've been up to and just melt back into narration as it comes. So with that...

ABOVE/BELOW: We've been to the STL Zoo three times already since we've been here. Above is Ceiba with Aunt Carrie and below are a couple from our trips once Papa came into town.

Our zoo is phenomenal, free and voted a family favorite year after year!!

ABOVE/BELOW:

Countless hours have been spent at Aunt Carrie's house. Ceiba LOVES to play in her koi pond, feeding the fish and playing with tadpoles. She is also spoiled with an always-ready pool on the patio for her visits, spends hours drawing on the patio with chalk and many evenings of lightning bug adventures.

ABOVE/BELOW: Many local homecoming festivals are going on over the summer. Our friends Chris & Ann are firefighters and offered Ceiba/Papa one of their seats in the homecoming parade throwing candy. Too fun for Ceiba!! Then we ate carny food and rode some rides. Ceiba went down the giant slide alone (thanks Papa for nearly giving me a heart attack to watch her), rode the Dragon Wagon, the Merry Mixer with Papa and Strawberry with Ann. Good 'ole Midwestern memories in action!

ABOVE: Ceiba and her cousin Cora have spent MANY hours together playing at Gma & Gpa's, swimming and screeching as they run after each other. BELOW: Continuing to seek out face painting opportunities and enjoying 4-wheeler rides with Uncle John and cousin Jake.

ABOVE: Chris had a great day golfing with his brothers, who don't get the chance to be in the same state (or country) very often. Also planning a great long weekend with his family this weekend! Spending time at the YMCA rock climbing at open gym (and weekly gymnastics classes).

BELOW: And here were the promised last pregnant pics, taken at 40 weeks,

3 days before Avocet was born (see below blog post).

And so now I can TRY to update more often, now that everyone is kind of caught up on the last month. Chris did come into town about a week early, due to my gallbladder scare (that simmered down after he arrived). Think my body was just telling me we shouldn't be apart. We all felt better once he was here, as we were nervous about him making it in time for the delivery due to the 30+ hour transit from Dhaka.

Now we are working to get birth certificates, passports, plane tickets, hotels, etc, etc, etc.

Baby is Here!

2011-06-23T11:19:00.000+06:00

I P*R*O*M*I*S*E to blog soon, realizing I am VERY far behind, but...

we are a little busy being in love with life and our girlies at the moment.

Avocet Finnegan

born June 18, 2011

7 lbs, 7 oz, 19.5 inches

Victoria's

2011-05-26T09:15:00.002+06:00

I walked out of Victoria's Secret today with a big bag in tow. It contained a boxed set of my favorite perfume and some lotion, just because. But I had to laugh thinking how many passers by were wondering what this REALLY pregnant lady was doing buying up Victoria's Secret.

Hee hee hee.

... Hell, I never really fit in their lingerie before I was pregnant.

It's SO clean here!!!!!!!

2011-05-23T11:06:00.000+06:00

I watched a friend on Friday with antibacterial hand sanitizer, wipes, kleenex and even a toilet seat cover for the park restroom all over the course of our 4 hours together (love ya Sarah!). I had to giggle to myself, for if everyone only knew what we see everyday in Bangladesh... ay carumba.

Let's just say that we have lots of vaccinations and are luckily not germ-a-phobes. Good thing!

But really, WOW, it's SO clean here!
In the great words of Forrest, "That's all I have to say about that."

Rain, science lesson and misc

2011-05-23T09:05:00.000+06:00

We drove home tonight in severe rain, blowing across the Midwest from another batch of deadly tornadoes, which struck Missouri earlier today. It's hard to believe we have been driving in crazier rain here, than while in Dhaka. Though when you think about it: 1) in Dhaka you can't drive faster than 10 mph hardly anywhere, so it never seems so intense as here at 50 mph, 2) we don't drive far in Dhaka, usually only a few blocks from the house and 3) really "madam" rarely drives in Dhaka, and would seldom have the need or want to mess with driving in the rain there, just nothing that pressing (or exciting enough) to justify going out in it.

Ceiba enjoyed a meteorology lesson from her Uncle John tonight and came inside to reenact (quite vividly) the process of making thunder and lightening. Too funny. It had me driving home a bit marshmellowy, thinking about some of the "little things" that we miss out on by living half a world away. The rain, thankfully, kept me from thinking too deeply for long :)

And here are a couple pics from today out with gma & gpa at the Strawberry Festival, and Ceiba & I on a hike at the Watershed Nature Center earlier in the week. Ready for Papa to arrive and share in the fun. We miss him bunches.

Marine Corp Commendation

2011-05-19T20:00:00.003+06:00

We were bummed to not be front and center in Dhaka today, while Chris received a Certificate of Commendation from the Marine Corp commander. He couldn't be more modest, so I'll dote on him for a bit, sharing in how proud we are of him. And coming from prior military service, I think this couldn't have meant more to him.

It went a little something like this:

SUPERIOR PERFORMANCE OF DUTY WHILE SERVING AS THE ... FROM... TO ... (MY HUBBY) CONTINUOUSLY WENT ABOVE AND BEYOND HIS DUTIES AND PERFORMED THEM IN A HIGHLY PROFESSIONAL MANNER. DURING THIS PERIOD (MY HUBBY) REPEATEDLY SACRIFICED HIS OWN TIME TO AID IN THE DEVELOPMENT OF THE MARINE SECURITY GUARD DETACHMENT, LEADING TO THE PROFESSIONAL SUCCESS OF ALL THE MARINES ASSIGNED TO US EMBASSY DHAKA. HIS LEADERSHIP AND DEDICATION TO THE DETACHMENT WAS THE EXAMPLE TO BE EMULATED BY ALL. (MY HUBBY) OVERSAW OVER 50 INCIDENT REPORTS ISSUED FOR PHYSICAL SECURITY MEASURES USED BY THE DETACHMENT, ALLOWING THE PRINCIPLE BUILDING TO REMAIN ALL SECURE. ADDITIONALLY, HE LED AND OBSERVED COUNTLESS RESPONSE DRILLS FOR VARIOUS EMERGENCY CONTINGENCIES BY THE MARINE SECURITY GUARDS. HIS ROLE IN SERVICE AS THE LINK BETWEEN THE MSG DETACHMENT AND THE REGIONAL SECURITY OFFICER WAS THAT OF A SEASONED AND EXPERIENCED LEADER AND WERE IN KEEPING WITH THE HIGHEST TRADITIONS OF THE DIPLOMATIC SECURITY SERVICE, THE UNITED STATES MARINE CORPS AND THE UNITED STATES NAVAL SERVICE.

I wish I had the quiet, strong presence that he has, the personality to never NEED to be commended or noticed, the dedication to service that has always been inside him. He will always be a military man, always be a team player and always sacrifice himself for his country. That's who he is, and there isn't a day we don't look up to him and feel so proud of the service he has given and continues to give to our country. Everybody needs a hero, but it's extra special that he walks right through OUR door every night.

Ahhh.... America

2011-05-15T09:07:00.000+06:00

After the 30+ hours of transit and flights, we arrived to Illinois last weekend. Our baggage... it didn't. But we did get it the following day around 2PM. Nothing like spending your first day back stuck in the apartment waiting for bags. The ridiculous thing is that they made it from Dhaka to Hong Kong to Chicago with us, cleared Customs, but then couldn't get on the plane to St. Louis in the 3 hours we were in Chicago. Maybe the flight was overweight, either way, a bit of a pain.

Our temporary digs are convenient. Not as stellar as Oakwoods in Falls Church (Pearson Square), but nice and "our own" for the next several months. We are thoroughly enjoying catching up with family and friends, frequenting restaurants and stores, and enjoying clean air and surroundings. We are not enjoying being away from our favorite guy... at all :( We do all eat together daily- our breakfast with his dinner while on Skype. We are happy to hear and see each other every day, but look very forward to his arrival in a few weeks.

above: Our first breakfast and morning at our local park

below: (Denise's side) Our niece and nephew growing up

above: highly anticipated first lunch out, which happened to be last lunch in 2010 (rt)

below: Wal-mart damage... no need to zoom into receipt, just know it was A LOT

Wal-mart, Target and Shop 'N Save all earned a day of shopping to themselves. You just cannot truly appreciate their worth and awe until you live in a developing country. Amazing and oh so clean!

above (5), below (3): grocery shopping bliss!

above: some lunches out, McDs with Chipotle and Steak 'N Shake

below: Papa's favorite (we didn't eat there yet), train riding at the mall

above and below: our bestest friends Chris & Ann showing Ceiba farm babies

Tonight marks a week that we've been back in the States. We are a bit tired from all the adventures, but many more await, several that we are especially waiting for Papa to be here to enjoy. The best is just spending time with family and friends, almost feeling like we never left. We look forward to the rest of our summer enjoying America time (and amazing upload speed, and no power outages, and...)!

35ish weeks

2011-05-05T21:43:00.000+06:00

We're getting there! As we are soon to depart for the good 'ole USA (yippee), wanted to send one more prego pic update. I'll miss our pretty orchid in the pregnancy pics, but will try to post one last one before delivery from our temporary apartment in the States... as long as it's not a mad dash to the ER on some unexpected day.

Still feeling really well, though I probably won't be saying that next week after a 30ish hour transit, 3 flight, date-line-crossing trip alone with an almost 4 year old. We are all anxiously anticipating Papa's arrival to the States shortly behind us and bambina's debut... in that order PLEASE!

Rooftop Baby Shower

2011-05-05T19:53:00.000+06:00

When we first told one of our neighbors about our expected little one, her first words were "Congratulations! I want to throw you a baby shower." Then shortly thereafter, another couple of lady friends were also secretively organizing a shower, when they learned about our neighbor's plans. So the wonderful three teamed up and gave us a spectacular evening!

We never dreamt to receive a shower here, really for 2 reasons: 1) we had only just arrived to post and 2) this was not our first baby. But since this was our first pregnancy, since the embassy folks are VERY hospitable, love a party and make everyone feel loved from day 1, and since everyone knows we can't exactly hop on down to our local Target, they were adamant to treat us to wonderful hospitality!

...And we can't thank our organizers (A, J & L...sorry no pic of all of us, darnit) and all of the friends who attended enough.

above (l to r): friend/organizer L, Mama to be, friend/organizer A beside game of measuring me

below (l to r): dinner & drinks, games & scenery, Mama opening gifts

above (l to r): Ceiba helping open Thai tea set, Mama & friend H, the girls helping me unwrap

We live in an apartment, so they planned the party on the roof after a work day. The weather was beautiful (I only got hot when all eyes were watching me unwrap) and the scenery was terrific. It just so happened that a new building a block over was getting ready for a grand opening, so was lit in beautiful blue lights from top to bottom. It was a nice backdrop to the shamiana (tent) and decorations. The food was wonderful, and the company couldn't have been better. Ceiba was in and out, being a social butterfly with the ladies fussing over her and helping me unwrap gifts. Chris hibernated back to our apartment, enjoying the solitude, checking periodically on us. We all had a great time and sincerely appreciated the wonderful wishes, gifts and company of our Dhaka family of friends.

And who knows, I may be paying it forward sooner than I know... sounds like there are many new families heading to Dhaka with babies on board. Seems that Dhaka is THE place for new and expectant parents!!! Bring on the babies!

Enter at your own risk

2011-04-28T07:56:00.000+06:00

Obviously, we frequent the medical unit at the embassy GSO complex on a regular basis now. Luckily, they are just routine obstetric visits. The visit before last was interesting. We had to approach with trepidation, as the entrance looked more like a scene from Indiana Jones. It looked more like a place to have an accident than repair from one.

In Bangladesh, construction projects rely VERY heavily on bamboo. It's amazing sometimes how much trust is put in the bamboo braces they use, but honestly I've been pretty amazed myself at how strong it is.

This was our view two weeks ago (left). And we were happy to enter the new entrance with awning this week (right).

North End Coffee Roasters, Dhaka

2011-04-21T12:50:00.002+06:00

About 2 weeks ago, a nice, young American couple opened a new coffee cafe uptown near the Embassy. Today, a friend and I stopped for a cup of Joe and cinnamon roll (plus a few to take home). It was refreshing to walk into a clean, air conditioned coffee shop, a bit of a glimpse back home in this crazy not-at-all-like-back-home city.

There are few coffee shops in Dhaka, and honestly, I haven't walked into any with a desire for a drink. We don't fancy ourselves coffee drinkers (iced tea drinkers!), but did used to enjoy the occasional walk to Starbucks for an iced coffee or snack. Here, we went more out of curiosity and having previously met the owners at a local luncheon. Actually, we didn't even enjoy any caffeine between my pregnant decaf and L's hot chocolate, but it was definitely an enjoyable experience! I also purchased a small bag of coffee for the occasional weekend treat or to have on hand for company. Of course, I went for the Guatemalan, a reminder of the beautiful coffee we brought back with our first bambina.

They are still working up to a full menu, for example, they don't offer cold drinks yet. When you think of the logistics not only to get items, liquids, coffee into the country as imports, but also just the complexity to have dependable electricity and drinkable water, one has to give the proprietors a huge Kudos just for the energy get a business off the ground here. They also opened their doors for a pre-opening reception for the US Embassy staff. So far, they are doing a great job and are a very welcomed addition to the community!

above (l to r): my friend L enjoying a hot chocolate, coffee gadget, kid play corner (great idea!)

below: their contact info

Local Rides

2011-04-20T09:25:00.003+06:00

These look safe enough... right? A squeaky, man-powered ferris wheel?

Eeek. She loved them though!

The Embassy had a Bangla New Year picnic last week and brought in some activities for the kiddos.

It was WAY hot, but everyone had a fun day :)

Had to completely pity Mickey & Minnie in their furry costumes though!

Throw in a pony ride and cotton candy and PRESTO-

The perfect afternoon in the mind of a 3 year old!

Spring Fling

2011-04-17T18:59:00.001+06:00

Last weekend, the Embassy put on our Spring Fling, complete with egg hunt, games and a wonderful dinner. The event was hosted by the DCM (Deputy Chief of Mission), at his beautiful home, with the help of our CLO (Community Liason Office).

Though it was a usual hot Dhaka day, the kids all had a great time in the bouncy house, decorating cupcakes, hunting eggs, eating candy from the eggs, running an egg race, having a water balloon toss and having a sack race. Flush cheeks were all around!!

It was a great day with good company!

Splish Splash

2011-04-16T08:35:00.001+06:00

Been doing a LOT of this lately. What better activity is there to do when it's 95-100 daily?

We stumbled across a snorkel set we had purchased in DC for Ceiba. She's been trying out the fins and when her mouth is big enough (many days we'd think it is!), she'll try the snorkel. Already mastering the fins, she dives underwater now with ease, snaking beneath and through legs at every opportunity. She's already very excited to teach baby to swim.
Us too!

Decor

2011-04-09T11:24:00.000+06:00

When we were anxiously awaiting Ceiba to come home as a baby, we painted her room in rainforest plants and animals. All of the flora and fauna were native to Guatemala: heliconia flowers, banana trees, a Ceiba tree, jaguar, tapirs, insects, howler monkey, toucan, tree frog, mangroves, mudskippers, fish, and on an on. It was painted and waiting seven months before she was even born. You could say we were a little excited for her to arrive.

So in preparation for our newest bambina, we have started decorating her room. We don't have quite the freedom to design for the long term like we did before, but we are still livening it up a little. I keep contemplating painting the white walls, but haven't gotten off the fence about it yet. In the meantime, I ordered some mermaid prints off Etsy.com . We always planned on our second baby having an ocean room, be they boy or girl. So we are continuing with that inspiration.

We picked up the finished matted and framed art this morning from a great shop uptown. Framing is SO affordable here. All 5 pieces were custom matted/framed for under $30. That's a deal in my book!!!

Can't wait to hang them this week!

Of course, have to call GSO maintenance to bring the hammer drill to bore through our brick walls :)

"Norm!"

2011-04-09T10:12:00.000+06:00

You have to love "Norm!" from Cheers being yelled each time he walked in the door of the bar.
Lately, I've been the Norm of the Dhaka pearl circuit. In gearing up for our impending trip to the
US for baby delivery, I've been stocking up on some goodies to take back to family and friends.

Here's a pic of my neighborhood pearl vendor, much more lucrative since we've arrived. He treats
us very well, and in turn we are happy to frequent his shop and send friends his way.

New Pearls Fair II, Gulshan II, Dhaka, Bangladesh

Rain, rain... don't go away

2011-04-05T21:05:00.001+06:00

About a week ago the rains started, as expected for a monsoon country. Everyone is very happy to see the weather change, and it is starting out to be a much better year than last year for the area farmers. They can always use all the help they can get.

Generally, it storms at night, with gusty winds, lightning, crashing thunder and torrential (but short) rain. Chris and I love it, but Ceiba is still getting used to the really loud thunder. We go from her crying when getting startled, especially when she may be in another room, to the next moment a cool and calm "it's not scary" with convincing eyes to go along with her soothing words.

The once dusty leaves are finally washed clean, and the vibrant greens around the city really are beautiful. All the jackfruit trees (below) are loaded with new fruit, as are the mango trees and several local fruit trees that I haven't learned.

We know the rain may get old... and deep, but for now, it's a very welcome relief to the dusty and dry spell which has been Dhaka since we arrived last fall.

Growing Up

2011-04-05T12:02:00.008+06:00

In case anyone wondered if Ceiba's getting big... YES... VERY.

Here are a couple recent pics waiting for and on the school bus with her "bus mom".

Can't believe how quickly she's growing up. I feel very fortunate to be here in

Dhaka, where I am able to be a stay-at-home-mom for a while.

And because I can stay home (thanks honey!), I am able to volunteer to help at school for swimming days, which started today. Getting a bunch of wet little kids in and out of clothes and the pool takes many hands.

30 Weeks Down, 10 to Go!

2011-04-04T20:36:00.000+06:00

We're gettin' there!

A new haircut (after almost 8 mos) made Mama feel better.

We are ALL anxious for our new bambina to make her debut... in about 10ish weeks.

Here are a couple pics to keep everyone back home updated.

Keepsakes

2011-03-28T14:09:00.000+06:00

We've been starting to accumulate keepsakes for Ceiba & baby. Originally, we had thought about hope chests, but with the traveling lifestyle, we decided on a smaller version. Here in Bangladesh, there are small boxes at every art or antique dealer. Many of them are fairly old and came from the huge history of boat travel. I don't know what they are actually called. The large trunks functioned as suitcases on the trains and ships, and I think some of the smaller trunks may have been used as jewelry boxes or make-up cases. Most of the small ones have trays that lift out and mirrors.

We purchased one trunk for Ceiba and are watching for a second for baby. Though some are very intricately carved with brass inlay, but we've opted for the clean, plain version on the outside with a intricate interior.

Here is a pic of Ceiba's "hope chest" with some of our recent purchases: pearl bracelets from Dhaka, necklaces & ornaments from Hong Kong and stamps with the girls' birth year/animals. Also when we were in Hong Kong, we had hand carved name stamps made for the girls. And Ceiba has some items from Guatemala and passed down family jewelry in her box already.

Soccer Mini-Me

2011-03-26T08:52:00.003+06:00

Chris has been playing soccer with the embassy team. Ceiba and I go out a few times a week with our lawn chairs, snacks and drinks in hand to cheer them on. It's nice to sit outside in the evenings... until the tornadoes of mosquitoes appear.

We ordered a second jersey for Chris, and at the same time, ordered one for Ceiba. She had been wearing her Bangladesh cricket shirt or Mexico soccer jesey, but now wear the standard US uniform. Too cute!

above- Ceiba at half time, Chris and Mini-me, Ceiba and her buddy Nate

below- Ceiba in her Mexico soccer jersey, Chris at practice (3)

At the first game, they had salted lemon slices for half time. Not a hit for Chris. Grandpa, you'll laugh to hear that Chris asked for orange slices at half time, like when he was a kid. Ceiba had as much fun with them as the players.

Go team!

Ooos

2011-03-26T08:22:00.000+06:00

Occasionally, Ceiba will get on crazy hyped up talking spurt of excited gibberish. Yesterday, we were getting ready to head to the pool, when we heard:

"And I will get my penguin, and I will get my snakes, and I will get my pony, and I

will get my boobies, and I will get my penguin, and I will get my boobies,

and I will get my snakes..."

And on and on while dancing around the kitchen, giggling. Chris and I laughed. We have never called them boobies. For some reason, Ceiba started by calling them oooos and it stuck. So we figured this was another new word from school (ah, how we've been learning new words and phrases at school...). So I asked, "Boobies? Who says boobies?"

"Robbie".

Robbie...thanks Robbie. Hoping the "snakes"comment was no where in the boobie conversation. Am sure there will be many more of these conversations to come, ready or not.

America Week- Khulna

2011-03-23T08:00:00.001+06:00

In January, Chris went to Khulna, Bangladesh to coordinate security with local and district police for America Week, the US Embassy's flagship outreach program that showcases the contributions that the US has introduced to rural Bangladesh.

He ran from 0500 every morning until generally well into the night each evening. Their busiest times were holding back thousands of moms who brought their children to watch a showing of a Bangla version of Sesame Street. He said they were crazy!

Another night, the Embassy hosted a live music concert. They had passed out about 1500 tickets, but received a crowd of almost 6000. He had to think fast and set up bamboo cattle gate type temporary security screening stations.

Below are some pics... wish I could say I took them, but the credit goes to him (but I did edit them):

(above- Ambassador getting on float plane, motorcade, Chris with new police friends)

(below- Chris on the river, funnel cake (kind of) man, Rahman snacking)

(above- carrying bricks, Chris on the river ferry, low tide)

(below- cast net fishing, snack time at the fair, Chris with school children)

(above- overfilled ferry, quail egg vendor at the dock, goat dressed)

(below- waiting for Rajashani/Sesame Street show, ferries, concert audience)

(above- low tide, Bangla pipers, Chris/Rahman/ferry tender on the river)

(below- proud firemen, Chris's swank VIP suite)

The week went incredibly smooth, and he received many "ata boy!'s from the embassy staff the following week back in the office. He thoroughly enjoyed the independence to run the week with his own supervision, work closely with the Bangla officers and gain the respect of his peers.

Cookin' with the Nuns

2011-03-18T07:02:00.003+06:00

Last weekend, the CLO office coordinated an Italian cooking class at the Carlotta House, a local non for profit run by Catholic nuns from Italy and Bangladesh. It was a 5+ hour event, where we learned to make tiramisu, handmade pasta, lasagna, ragu, white sauce and gnochii. In between dishes, our instructor (an interesting Italian lady who seems to have been everywhere and done everything) taught us sweet Italian songs. We got to enjoy the fruits of our labor at the end of the class (forgot to take pics). Yum!

The cutest little nun you've ever seen, Sister Luisa, who speaks sweetly like the little Bramasole lady from Under the Tuscan Sun movie, flittered around a lot while we cooked. I had met her weeks before at a local pearl shop, where she was having a rosary repaired. I couldn't forget that sweet voice or her warm presence. I think we all enjoyed being near her as much as cooking beautiful food with friends. And there is nothing like the touch and blessings for a healthy baby, as she smiled upon us. No matter your religion, I think just being near a holy person, be it a Catholic nun, a Buddhist monk or whoever, is a calming and joyful experience, a time you can't help but smile. They seem to exude peace, which most people have not yet discovered.

Ballet Recital

2011-03-16T09:06:00.000+06:00

A local expat teacher conducts dance classes after hours for the community. There is usually a wait list to get in (not a lot of extracuriculars here). After the 10 week class, there was a little recital last week. We hadn't seen Ceiba's practices, except for the first week to keep her from crying, so were very excited to see her progress.

She loved it! Her eyes were on her teacher like glue, reenacting each pose and smiling most of the time. We video taped and took pictures, grinning all the while.

Even though she won't get through the entire next session due to our medevac out, she's signed up to continue. So far, it's been great for her to be on her own and learn without us involved. And Ceiba loves to make new friends!

Old Dhaka

2011-03-12T19:14:00.002+06:00

Last weekend, we took a 1/2 day guided tour of Old Dhaka City, offered by the CLO (Community Liason Office) at the Embassy. The are sort of the "party planners" and people who work to keep the community flowing smoothly and moral up for the post. They do a really great job and are a warm place at the Embassy to praise or vent when needed.

We all rode on an air conditioned bus (so necessary) to the sites, sometimes getting off to explore and other times just driving by with narration. I had wanted to see these sites before the bambina arrives, and think they are some of the "must see" locations while in Bangladesh.

Here are some of the highlights:

(above: President Zia Ur Rahman tomb, local Muslim girls and Parliament Building)

(below: RAB- the police you don't mess with.... & World Cup Cricket sign )

(above & below: Lalbagh Fort)

(above: Dhakeswari- the Natl. Hindu Temple)

(below/ next 3 sets: Star Mosque)

From the pictures I'd seen of the Star Mosque, I'd always thought it was larger. Surprisingly, they let our group of women come inside and take photos, but a scarf had to be worn. The mosaics inside were beautiful.

(above & below/2 sets: Armenian Church)

(above: street life near the Armenian Church)

(below/2 sets: Hindu Street, also called Shakhari Bazaar))

(below: flower vendors on Hindu Street)

The Pink Palace is probably the cleanest and most well preserved location we've seen since arriving in Bangladesh. It is also the largest complex we've seen.

(above & below: Ahsan Monzil (the Pink Palace)

The riverfront was cool to see, but the pollution is the most severe we've ever seen. The water was grey with irridescent sheen on top. You couldn't see into the water, and the smell was stomach turning. Little boys were swimming alongside the vessels, while produce vendors and commuters scurried about. It's sad how the river seems so dead; I can't imagine there is any life in that stretch of water and if there are fish, I certainly wouldn't eat them. Raw sewage runs everywhere throughout Bangladesh. People squat on the side of the road along gutters to do there business any time of day. Surely this all flows into the larger rivers and even eventually into the Bay of Bengal.

(above & rest below: Sadarghat River Front)

March 10th

2011-03-10T08:17:00.009+06:00

Today was my mom's birthday. But the last 8 years have gone by with no candles and no cake... and sadly, no mom. Sometimes it feels like I hugged her yesterday, but most days it feels like forever. It is a missing and a longing that never leaves, one that can make me cry in the blink of an eye. But don't think I cry everyday. I don't. But I do miss her, and Dad (6 years) and my sister (7 years), every... single... day.

It's a 2 year window in time I wish to never repeat, nor hear of anyone else having to go through. A time when if I heard "what doesn't kill us only makes us stronger" or "they're together now in a better place" one more time I was going to curse someone. Here was a pretty great place. It was meant to be comforting and supportive, but most of the time it just bothered me. I can't say I have expectations that life after death is great or even there. I couldn't ever imagine them together somewhere happy, as I know none of them would have been happy without the rest of us beside them. I'm not sure what I think about it all, mostly more scientific fact than wishing. If I live a good life and treat others well, then I'll just play the cards I'm dealt when it's over. The hands they held could win the game.

Over the years, I've heard many times how strong we were through everything.... As if there was a choice? You go from one tragedy to another, all while trying to breath and hold life together in the meantime. You don't have time to think, you just react. You aren't some strong rock, you're just trying to not sink. I think it was the strong, silent rock next to me every day that helped me survive. The relationship that existed at home, and the partnership that allowed me to get what needed done done, while he held down the fort. Knowing that if I did ever finally crack and crumble to the floor, he'd be there to pick me up again and dust me off. The strength and the comfort, usually without a word, just a feeling.

My oldest sister and I kept each other in check. We plowed through each event as it fell. I can hear the daily words "You okay?", "I'm okay." in my mind. I think we wouldn't have faired nearly as well without the love and support of the other. We were a team through and through and are closer today because of the rough journey. I think she's one of the few people who knows all of me.

It is hard for them to be gone, but the memories are vivid...and wonderful...and eternal. Our family life was the farm Cleavers, if I could explain it. Mom stayed home and did all things homey and caring, while Dad worked and was a great provider. Their marriage was great and long, and they were wonderful parents, structured and hard in youth, but with an amazing outcome and love from their raised children. Every weekend, we were together- BBQing or visiting- because we wanted to be. Not a day goes by that I say "what if" or "I wish I had said...". I don't. Even in sudden deaths, we all knew how the other felt and there were no things left unsaid. That is very comforting.

The part that continues to be the hardest? One is sleeping down the hall and the other is growing inside me. It is our girls missing out on such wonderful people that kills me. They will never see Gma & Gpa Js farm, crack eggs for a cake in the kitchen on a summer's day, mushroom hunt on the hills in the springtime, cane pole fish in the pond, pet the real bunnies at Easter, plant flowers with Aunt Debbie and her puppy or hear Gpa's tall tales of his Tennessee youth. I can tell them stories of all of those times, but they'll never experience it. And I'll never see my Mom's eyes light up when a cute little girl in a sink bath splashes her with suds, see my Dad tear up and walk out because he's so overjoyed by seeing his granddaughters for the first time or watch my sister be another of the best aunties our girls could ever have.

Those things are not very fair.

Life can be not very fair.

I grew up the youngest on both sides of the family. It always seemed by the time I loved and appreciated someone, they were gone... too soon. We do not have the family that lives to be 100. Maybe I should think of them as flames, so bright, but so short. It's true. The lives we do have are vibrant and fascinating and happy. So maybe a short time of great is better than a long time of dull or unhappy? I can always see goodness it in all, don't worry or think I'm depressed. I'm not. But there are those days or those moments in life that you just so wish they could see and be a part of. That you wish now that you're older, you could ask your parents things or sit and have a long glass of iced tea. But alas, the time is gone and you cannot.

And that part of life is just not always fair.

Bangla Wedding

2011-03-07T07:56:00.003+06:00

Before even arriving at post, I said to Chris how our stay in Bangladesh would not be complete without a local wedding invitation. Shortly after the New Year, one of his LES (locally engaged staff) invited us to share in their big day! Actually, they had already been married, but would be having a reception in Dhaka to celebrate.

The ceremonious dress of the bride and groom were stunning, covered in stones and gold inlay. They were ornate from head to toe. And the bride's wedding henna...gorgeous! I'm not sure if the dress was all new for the occasion or inherited from family, but it was like nothing we'd seen before.

Chris wore a nice suit. Ceiba had a beautiful shalwar kamiz (local dress of long tunic top with pajama-like pants under), which Chris had brought home for her from his America Week trip to Kuhlna (which I STILL need to post pics from). Our tailor shortened the pants, and I found some sandals to match. The day of the reception, I also picked up some turquoise nail polish, which Papa painted her nails to match. She had some local Bangal bracelets too, but those became more of a game than an accessory.

My preparation... took a bit more. First, I had to buy a sari. I am no where near qualified to tie it on (quite a process), so our tailor was going to add a few snaps to help. During the day, I went with a friend to have henna done our our hands, arms and feet. Henna to me is like having nails done to some ladies; I could do it regularly and never get tired of it. In the end, I still had to stop by a friend's house to have her housekeeper help me get dressed... and pinned... and change my not-fancy-enough jewelry to something gaudier. Just when I thought I was done, the housekeeper decided upon herself to pull down my hair to re-do it. Apparently, she wanted to take a comb to my "messy" up hair. Not what I had in mind.... and the outcome was really not what I had in mind. No time to salvage much, so off we went.

I expected a lavish affair long into the night, which is the case for most rural weddings. As this was a big city event, the guests are invited in shifts, ushered up front to pose with the newlyweds and then rushed through family style dinner, so the next shift of guests can arrive to do the same, and so on, all through the night. We were round 1. Being Americans, and caucasian, we were immediately greeted at the door and moved to the front of the line to see the beautiful couple. Temporary blindness was felt by all after the nonstop camera flashes for minutes by the photographer and nearly every other guest.

We were very honored to be a part of their special day!

Functional...

2011-03-06T21:38:00.001+06:00

Ceiba sat in the car with our driver the other day right after school, while I went in to talk with her teacher for a minute. She had a nice cooler with a pbj, snacks, drinks and a movie to occupy her for the couple minutes I was gone.

When we got home, I was putting away leftover snacks and wondered where the liquid was coming from. I found this...

Our driver opened the Caprisun for her... and he is the one member of our staff who can read English.

Hong Kong Disney

2011-03-03T08:54:00.003+06:00

The focus of our trip to Hong Kong was for Ceiba to get to experience Disney in it's entirety and enjoy it completely. We knew with a sibling on the way, and the two of them being almost 4 years apart, by the time Baby is ready to enjoy Disney, Ceiba probably would be out of the "prime" time to experience it for herself. And... a trip is always an easy thing to persuade anyone in our family to do.

We stayed at the Disneyland Resort so that she could visit with the characters, see the fireworks from our balcony and be just a shuttle trip away from the park for naps or weather diversions. The plan was to get up in time for a nice breakfast, get to the park around opening time (10AM), enjoy a few hours, go back to the room for a nap, back to the park, have lunch/dinner, play and catch the castle lighting and the fireworks at night before heading back to the room to see Mickey for bedtime.

Ceiba decided NO WAY were we leaving each day once we arrived at the park, so we ditched the naps in the room and opted for naps on Papa's shoulder instead. Once asleep, Chris or I would plop in a chair holding Ceiba, while the other tooled around freely for a little while.

Everything worked out great! We caught the parade both days (GREAT!), fireworks and saw all the rides, except the ones she was to small for. Most rides (Buzz Lightyear's Blaster, Teacups, carousel) were visited MANY times throughout the 2 days at the park.

We also attended as many of the Meet & Greet sessions with characters as we could. At first, the costumes were a little scary to Ceiba, but Papa had a talk with her, and she warmed right up and then loved them the rest of the visit. Belle was her favorite! All the princesses were so good at talking to her. Surprisingly, only about 20-30% of the visitors were children. Most of the lines to visit the characters were grown-ups. So between our being caucasian and American, and Ceiba's unusual features for the area, I think more tourists took pictures of us than we took of ourselves.

We saw the Golden Mickeys show (twice) and the Lion King show, which Ceiba sang & danced along with and just LOVED. It was a nice rest for Chris's and my feet too. And no Disney trip would be complete without a new princess dress! It was a unanimous "Belle". A few poses around the resort, so when she's 16 we can remember when she was sweet, ha ha.

Our last day was beautiful and sunny, so we strolled through the hedge maze and walked along the shoreline at the resort and pier. I think all of us could easily have been persuaded to stay another week. When we put Ceiba in bed at home in Dhaka that first night back, she said "I want to go back to the hotel".

Us too honey, us too...

Hong Kong- Day 1& 2 (downtown)

2011-02-27T14:58:00.000+06:00

We returned this week from 5 wonderful days in Hong Kong! All of us loved it! Our flight into HKG landed in the wee hours of the morning, so we paid the hotel for another day just to be able to crawl into a bed for a few hours before touring around. And of course, the only room available so early in the day was the penthouse, the most expensive room... go figure. But we thoroughly enjoyed our room, it was 2 floors with a spiral staircase to the bedroom. Our view was spectacular, so much so that we slept with the blinds open all night just to look out the windowed whole wall any time throughout the night when we woke up. For my pregnant, didn't-have-my-body-pillow-self, that was several views during the night.

(above: left- Chris & Ceiba at the zoo, right- daytime view from our room)

(below: Ceiba's reaction to Chris telling her to look like she's falling out the window)

Once we got up, we ventured down the hill to the Hong Kong Zoo and Botanical Gardens, where we tooled around for a nice, brisk afternoon. The temperatures were in the 60s, with mist on and off the first 2 days, while we were in the city on Hong Kong Island, near the Central MTR stop. We all slept well from having almost a week of cool, clean air to breath (a luxury we do NOT experience at home in Dhaka).

I'll break up Hong Kong Island from our days at Disney, as there are lots of photos to upload. I'm behind on postings, so should have several posts to put up this week, if the upload speed cooperates.

(above: l to r : Causeway Bay shopping and tram toy shop)

(below: left- Causeway Bay, right- night view from our room)

(above: Peak Tram, Ceiba enjoying cocoa at the top of the tram, Mama/Ceiba celebrating baby's year of the rabbit)

(below: Chris & Ceiba at top of Peak, Peak view of port, Mama & Ceiba looking around)

(above: all at Victoria Peak top)

(below: Victoria Peak, our night view, Times Square mall)

Pics of Disney to come!!

Last Minute Get Away!!!

2011-02-13T22:01:00.003+06:00

Nothing like winging it last minute before a 5 day weekend.

HINT:

We had said we'd stick around for the long weekend, but...

there is a certain little girl who will pee her pants when she sees her Disney friends.

And we just can't pass that up :)

Plus, I heard money grows on trees, and I've got a green thumb, so ?

Well, won't hold my breath on that idea.

She's only young once and will be jockeying for attention in a few months,

so we're gonna try to give her a special trip to remember!

(It's Hong Kong!)

Bambina Update - 22ish Weeks

2011-02-08T22:21:00.002+06:00

THAR SHE BLOWS!!!!

Hee hee hee. Had our doctor's visit this week, and all is well.

The belly and the number on the scale continue to grow, luckily the former more than the later :)

(Pic taken at 21 weeks)

Feeling good and nesting!

School Project

2011-02-08T22:03:00.000+06:00

Hard to believe that in preK3 there would be a homework assignment. A few weeks ago, Ceiba's teacher sent home a large posterboard to be completed a week later with a project "All About Me". It happened to be the week Chris was out of town for work (need to post pics!), so Mama got to do some homework. We rounded up fun photos, made lists of likes, used lots of stickers of Ceiba's favorite princesses (the new love) and added all sorts of fun items to her board. She colored an Ariel page for the middle of the poster and colored on the board in a designated area with her favorite color red. We had a good time creating her first school project.

On our designated day and time, Chris and I went to school with Ceiba's project, so that she could present to her teachers and classmates her "All About Me" board. I always love to see all the little ones scramble and say "Ceiba, your mommy and daddy are here!". It was fun to go through the morning carpet-time, hellos and get started routine for the day. Kudos to the teacher for having each presenter use a shiny magic wand to help in their presentation; that sealed the deal for Ceiba.

Here are a few pics. She did a great job of talking about her board and herself with VERY little help from us. There was even a question and answer session at the end from the kids, which mostly turned into each little girl raising her hand, being called upon and saying "Ariel is my favorite too" or "I like Jasmine". Too cute!

The Last Melon

2011-02-01T21:49:00.001+06:00

Ok, so if you aren't a Dreamworks/Disney/Pixar person, you may not get my humor. We are a family of movie line quoters, so these things pop in my head all the time.

Or alternatively titled, The Last HHE.

So we arrived in October, the first week. Most of our household effects were here in good time, with the exception of the items from our apartment in Washington D.C. (those not in the airfreight). We were overweight, mainly because all of our items went from IL to DC to FL to DC and then had to be hand sorted by me... in a dark warehouse... in July... while boxed or wrapped in paper. It was a bit of a crapshoot- lamp/but no shade, Christmas/but no favorite snowmen, yard tools/but no yard. You get the picture. So we went overweight. We paid the cashier at post within a week of arriving, but then began the tug of war between post and DC on whom would be responsible to get the final shipment moving.

It sat until almost December before it shipped out...........

So that brings us to last week, when the final shipment arrived full of mostly food, toiletries, clothes and Ceiba's Christmas presents. Now we are happy and bursting at the seams.

I tend to be a bit of a planner...and anal retentive... and an over packer... and a pantry hoarder. (No input from family and friends :) thank you). So we have enough razor blades (bought 45 packs on Ebay in DC), Bath and Body (hit the semi-annual sale before to left), lady items (now only need about 1/2 the supply due to the bambina coming), and and and. But my OCD self feels cozy and warm now that we're surrounded by "stuff".

You never know what you might need.... Well, if we do - we've got it!

Our little sprout

2011-01-30T19:46:00.001+06:00

Love that she enjoys gardening, like her mama :)
I can't water a plant without Ceiba grabbing her little watering can to help me.

Do we usually have water everywhere, muddy toes and water the ceramic elephant?....

yes, but that's part of the fun :)