Caged Bird

When Ceiba comes home from the bus, I wait inside the walls of our apartment property. I stand behind these bars and watch the world go by. It isn't that Dhaka is that unsafe, but it's also not necessary to advertise to the world that expats live where we do. Though it is impossible for a light haired, blue eyed, caucasian woman to "blend" into Bangladesh, why draw more attention than necessary. Often, passers by will notice me behind the bars and rubber neck to soak the scene in. They look at me like a caged zoo attraction.

So as I stood one day this week, I thought about how the view summed up most of our time since we've returned to Dhaka. Having an infant, not to mention a 4 year old, can be a bit immobilizing in a developing country. Heck, it's hard enough to be mobile and confident with a little one in the US, let alone have all the obstacles we face here on any given day.

For the first week back, Avocet pretty much wigged out every...time...we...left...the...house. We ventured to the commissary and to the embassy on separate days, each time getting stuck in about an hour of traffic to go all of 10ish blocks to get home. It wasn't pretty. She  fussed and cried and just did not enjoy the ride. I tried to soothe and hum and comfort and bounce and rock and not loose my tear-holding-in-control, all while knowing if I just nursed her, she would calm down. But, though I like our driver, we do not need to be on that personal of a relationship. So she cried most of the way home, and then I thought best to board us up at home for the next week until the jet lag and the overwhelmingness of Dhaka to her little self passed.

We are doing better and now feeling a bit more comfortable to venture further and further. We had a med unit well baby check this week, where Avocet tipped the scales at 13.4 lbs and 23.5 inches at 9 1/2 weeks. So she is doing great! And hopefully she is thriving on my nutrition as opposed to the alternative reason for her growth... some crazy pollutant from Dhaka or some kryptonite fertilizer they spread on the vegetables. Hopefully, it's the former :)

Of course the vaccinations from said medical appointment did not make her a very happy camper, so my evening plans to attend the school open house for Ceiba turned into the night at home. Chris represented both parents, while I comforted Avocet at home. Luckily, her little pitifulness was short lived.

Parents out there living abroad, we feel your pain. Most of us have no sidewalks for strollers, no koala kids for changing diapers, no high chairs at restaurants (heck not even many food safe restaurants), no snack packs or fruit snacks at the local grocery, no-way-would-I-put-my-kid-on-that-ride amusement parks. The list of what we don't have could go on forever... but then again so could the list of things that our children will experience that we never did as children.

Though there will always be days that are difficult to raise children as global nomads, we look forward with optimism at the wonderful world that our children will experience, touch, feel, smell and breath and not just read about in books.