Sunday, February 21, 2010

Yep, I'm still in here

Like every living thing, I've metamorphasized over time. As my profile reads, I am very happily a wife, mama, gardener, adventurer, sea lover, tree hugger. I haven't always been all of these people. I've become them over time. Along the way I've added other traits: smile lines, knowledge, experiences are but a few.

But sometimes I forget me. The spirit of me. The self underneath the daily work, duties, bills, and chores. The person that makes me smile and makes others smile. Genuinely.

I vividly remember the Andamen Sea breeze blowing the curtains of our paneless bungalow window several years ago. We hadn't been awake long on Ko Muk when I smiled and said to Chris, "This is the real me. This is who I want to be and how I want to feel everyday."

I wanted to be that alive every day. To not nag or complain or ever be verbally short or ugly in tone. To not rush or settle or miss out on the greatness of life.

Though we wouldn't ever trade being a mother or father or daughter or son or caretaker or friend, it sometimes overtakes us.

Sometimes I forget me.

The me that I am which no one else affects... a gardener, a fisherman, a sea lover, a photographer and a nature lover.

Today I had a few hours alone. I walked in our woods with the sun on my face, and I resurrected me.



  1. My dear wife,

    Your photos, your writings, your love, your guidance are done with a passion as intense as the burning of the sun.

    I miss you and Ceiba.

  2. Your photos are incredibly, amazingly gorgeous. As in, WOW those would make great framed shots for your wall.

    My favorites are the one with forest and the house in the upper left... the one with forest and river... and the small roundish spider climbing the ice.

    Do you live right there, in that gorgeous place? It is so beautiful there.

    And I clicked over to leave a comment, saw your husband's touching message, and teared up. You guys sound like great people.

  3. Hi Kolbi,
    Thanks :) Yep, that's our house on the hill. We have 6 wooded acres around the house. Usually, I'm ready to go, but on days like yesterday, it's hard to imagine letting someone else buy our house. But then I miss our family being all together, remind myself that we only enjoy the weather about 5 mos out of the year and think of all the adventures yet to unfold.

    So I'm ready to chock our life here in IL up as a past chapter and move on with anticipation to the next.

    Until our paths cross ~ Denise

  4. Wowzas ... great shots!

    You echo my sentiments as we got closer to packing up the house ... I cherished my time walking around the acres ... into the woods ... just making my own memories and capturing them on film ...

    Your camera will LOVE it here!

  5. Beautiful shots! Can I ask what len(ses) you're using?

    I'm in the FS and currently in Vladivostok, Russia.

    Hang in there. It's tough but once you're all together, you'll love all the adventures that come with living abroad.

  6. Thanks,
    Excuse my camera ignorance, I'm very amatuer. I use a Minolta SLR digital and for these I used a 35mm w/ a GroBartiG macro lense attached by a converter which I picked up few years ago in Singapore. I keep wanting to take some classes, just never seem to get around to it. Also, most were on manual focus.